Twas the night before PS4mas, and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a PC mouse. The stockings were hung by the consoles with care, in hopes that St Nick de Bruyne would be there with Gran Turismo 6 tips on a dare.
The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of Call of Duty filled noobs with lead. And Geoff in his ‘kerchief and Zoe in her cap, had just settled on a new mic to try some gaming raps.
When out of the yard there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window, I flew like a flashed ROM, tore open the blinds and threw up the curtains of my Conan god named Crom.
With a driver in a new sports car so lively and quick, I knew in a moment that it must be Saint Nick. More rapid than go-faster stripes his Corsa came, and he whistled and shouted at me by name:
“Get back to work dammit or I’ll tell Gavin, and screw you if you think I’m doing this rhyming nonsense Darryn DAMMIT!”
In Other News: Colossatron terrorises, Rascal Riders drives into view, Steam gets a makeover on iOS and Tom Cruise HULCs up.
Here’s the news that we didn’t post, because I was too busy trying to antagonise the well behaved PS4 lines into a blood orgy of violence.
Jetpack Joyride devs unleash Colossatron on December 19
Rascal Riders brings motorcycle combat to all platforms
Steam mobile app gets new look and social option on iOS
How the Saints saved Christmas is out today
Bit.Trip Runner 2 hits Vita next week
Tekken Revolutions fan chosen Eliza coming this month
DC Universe Online War of Light part 1 DLC launching early 2014
Wasteland 2 beta now available to backers, coming to Steam early access
The Order 1886 – Ready at Dawn’s cinematic PS4 debut is coming into focus
What it’s like to play a fighting game with a newbie
Games can learn more lessons from theatre than merely cribbing character tips
The PC vs Console debate, simplified
What’s on at The Movies
A second TinTin is still in the works
Check out four new posters starring those damn dirty apes in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Nic Cage wants to know how deep hell is in this first trailer for Tokarev
Universal to revise the Fast and the Furious 7 for a January restart
The Time Lord has entered a trap in this new trailer for The Time of the Doctor
Live, die and repeat in this first trailer for Edge of Tomorrow
Model: Candice Swanepoel
Last Updated: December 12, 2013