Home In Other News – 12 December 2013

In Other News – 12 December 2013

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Candice Swanepoel

Twas the night before PS4mas, and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a PC mouse. The stockings were hung by the consoles with care, in hopes that St Nick de Bruyne would be there with Gran Turismo 6 tips on a dare.

The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of Call of Duty filled noobs with lead. And Geoff in his ‘kerchief and Zoe in her cap, had just settled on a new mic to try some gaming raps.

When out of the yard there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window, I flew like a flashed ROM, tore open the blinds and threw up the curtains of my Conan god named Crom.

With a driver in a new sports car so lively and quick, I knew in a moment that it must be Saint Nick. More rapid than go-faster stripes his Corsa came, and he whistled and shouted at me by name:

“Get back to work dammit or I’ll tell Gavin, and screw you if you think I’m doing this rhyming nonsense Darryn DAMMIT!”

In Other News: Colossatron terrorises, Rascal Riders drives into view, Steam gets a makeover on iOS and Tom Cruise HULCs up.

Here’s the news that we didn’t post, because I was too busy trying to antagonise the well behaved PS4 lines into a blood orgy of violence.

News

Jetpack Joyride devs unleash Colossatron on December 19
Rascal Riders brings motorcycle combat to all platforms
Steam mobile app gets new look and social option on iOS
How the Saints saved Christmas is out today
Bit.Trip Runner 2 hits Vita next week
Tekken Revolutions fan chosen Eliza coming this month
DC Universe Online War of Light part 1 DLC launching early 2014
Wasteland 2 beta now available to backers, coming to Steam early access

Stuff

The Order 1886 – Ready at Dawn’s cinematic PS4 debut is coming into focus
What it’s like to play a fighting game with a newbie
Games can learn more lessons from theatre than merely cribbing character tips
The PC vs Console debate, simplified

Videos

The Collectables – Debut teaser
Sherlock Holmes : Crime and Punishments – Punishments trailer
The Elder Scrolls Online – War in Cyrodiil trailer

What’s on at The Movies

A second TinTin is still in the works
Check out four new posters starring those damn dirty apes in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Nic Cage wants to know how deep hell is in this first trailer for Tokarev
Universal to revise the Fast and the Furious 7 for a January restart
The Time Lord has entered a trap in this new trailer for The Time of the Doctor
Live, die and repeat in this first trailer for Edge of Tomorrow

Model: Candice Swanepoel

Last Updated: December 12, 2013

34 Comments

  1. MMM Candy

    Reply

  2. Alien Emperor Trevor

    December 12, 2013 at 16:07

    lol Darryn! That was brilliant.

    Reply

    • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

      December 12, 2013 at 16:15

      Note I said I missed the SITE today, and not you…

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief of pixels

        December 12, 2013 at 16:16

        hehehe, rince and trevor foreplay

        Reply

        • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

          December 12, 2013 at 16:18

          You know it. I’ll get OVG to take pictures on Sat as Trevor and I fight with golf clubs. Going to get messy…

          Reply

          • JJ's horrible secret (John)

            December 12, 2013 at 16:18

            “Messy”

          • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

            December 12, 2013 at 16:19

            Well you could have joined in the jelly bath fun but you don’t want to!

          • JJ's horrible secret (John)

            December 12, 2013 at 16:21

            I want to!! But I warned you beforehand that I may have something on that weekend.
            In a way you guys should be glad that I can’t make it. Otherwise you would’ve spent about 3 hours longer on the golfing.
            Now your man-to-hole ratio is better also.

          • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

            December 12, 2013 at 16:23

            That’s what I like! A guaranteed hole in one! Wait, what? 0-O Also, not playing 9 holes, just going to the driving range.

          • JJ's horrible secret (John)

            December 12, 2013 at 16:23

            So just foreplay then.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 12, 2013 at 16:24

            Just don’t ask who gets the 1 wood.

          • JJ's horrible secret (John)

            December 12, 2013 at 16:25

            Hahaha.

          • Anon A Mouse

            December 12, 2013 at 16:57

            I’m more scared of who will be able to handle the hybrid….

          • Karen Davis

            December 12, 2013 at 23:21

            my&nbspbest&nbspfriend’s&nbspstep-mother&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?&nbsp$­­­­­­­84&nbspan&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­r&nbspon&nbspthe&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­r.&nbspShe&nbsphas&nbspbeen&nbspwithout&nbspW­­­­­­?­­­­­­r­­­­­­?&nbspfor&nbspseven&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?&nbspbut&nbsplast&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?&nbspher&nbspincome&nbspwas&nbsp$­­­­­­­13273&nbspjust&nbspW­­­­­­?­­­­­­r­­­­­­?ing&nbspon&nbspthe&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­r&nbspfor&nbspa&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­W&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­rs.&nbspRead&nbspmore&nbspon&nbspthis&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?, ….Perfect23.Com

            ????????????????????????????????That should be a Batman for sure! I missed this site today 🙁

          • Karen Davis

            December 12, 2013 at 23:21

            my&nbspbest&nbspfriend’s&nbspstep-mother&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?&nbsp$­­­­­­­84&nbspan&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­r&nbspon&nbspthe&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­r.&nbspShe&nbsphas&nbspbeen&nbspwithout&nbspW­­­­­­?­­­­­­r­­­­­­?&nbspfor&nbspseven&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?&nbspbut&nbsplast&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?&nbspher&nbspincome&nbspwas&nbsp$­­­­­­­13273&nbspjust&nbspW­­­­­­?­­­­­­r­­­­­­?ing&nbspon&nbspthe&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­r&nbspfor&nbspa&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­W&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­rs.&nbspRead&nbspmore&nbspon&nbspthis&nbsp?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?­­­­­­?, ….Perfect23.Com

            ????????????????????????????????That should be a Batman for sure! I missed this site today 🙁

          • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

            December 12, 2013 at 16:33

            More like heavy petting…

          • Anon A Mouse

            December 12, 2013 at 16:59

            Speaking of driving range. I really should go to one. The last time I touched clubs was December last year and I’m going to Pinnacle this year…..

          • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

            December 12, 2013 at 17:04

            Come join in!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 12, 2013 at 16:19

            I hate it when the oil gets in my eyes :/

          • Admiral Chief of pixels

            December 12, 2013 at 16:21

            oil?

            I’ve heard of moneyshot, but this takes the cake!

            O_O

          • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

            December 12, 2013 at 16:32

            *Biscuit. Fixed

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        December 12, 2013 at 16:16

        You weren’t here?

        Reply

        • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

          December 12, 2013 at 16:17

          That was your own projections, cute really. In a ‘rubs the lotion in’ kindda way.

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            December 12, 2013 at 16:21

            The worst part is I know how happy you are to get the attention. #foreverSP!

  3. JJ's horrible secret (John)

    December 12, 2013 at 16:11

    That was a great article Darryn. Felt all cozy and Christmassy.

    Reply

  4. Admiral Chief of pixels

    December 12, 2013 at 16:11

    Ho Ho Ho

    Reply

    • Anon A Mouse

      December 12, 2013 at 16:54

      Santa Pimp doing a head count.

      Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. MadeYouLook)

      December 12, 2013 at 18:33

      Hehe… What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped at the 3rd ho

      Reply

  5. RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

    December 12, 2013 at 16:15

    Darryn, well done! That should be a Batman for sure! I missed this site today 🙁

    Reply

    • Umar koeksisterRpgFan

      December 12, 2013 at 16:42

      Welcome back. LG felt empty with no cheesy rince jokes

      Reply

      • RinceGivesRspectsToMadiba

        December 12, 2013 at 16:43

        How very dare you! My jokes are positively awesome!

        Reply

        • Umar koeksisterRpgFan

          December 12, 2013 at 16:46

          Hehe yes they are 🙂

          Reply

  6. Skyblue

    December 12, 2013 at 18:40

    Sheesh, now that is one damn hot homegrown hottie. Shot for the read as well Darryn, very cool and +1000 man points for for referencing Crom.

    Reply

  7. Lego Witcher of the Squirrels

    December 13, 2013 at 09:04

    Nice one Frodo, that PS4mas story was awesome.

    Reply

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