I am big and burly of stature with body hair in all the inappropriate places. The only “product” that touches my skin is soap, and begrudgingly at that. I eat my steak bloody; when I stick my fork in it, it needs to moo back at me. Once, while playing rugby, I tackled a guy so hard that he threw up on the spot. Feeble cries of “mommy” may have escaped his lips.
In short, I am a Man. Note the capitalization.
I say this to you now so that you have some context. So that you understand the weight of the situation. The manly gravitas!
You see, I somehow had no idea that they were doing a live action adaptation of Rorouni Kenshin, the epic manga/anime story of the fabled swordsman in Meiji era Japan. The first OVA (mini-series) is possibly my favourite Japanese animation of all time, and for many a fellow South African was their first introduction to a mature adult-centric anime.
And unlike that pointless American adaptation of Akira, this is being done by the Japanese themselves, who have proven time and again that they can do the live action thing right.
So when I first saw the trailer, the first of two peculiar events occurred: A very loud and high pitched something rushed uncontrollably out of my throat. I would not be surprised if all the bird watchers in my area ran for their binoculars, convinced that they had just heard a mating call of some rare barechested ibis.
As the trailer played, and I saw all the visually rich and iconic scenes of blood soaked katanas, flowing kimonos and snow-covered battlefields, my mind immediately flashed back to some of the best moments in the anime’s long run. And then I remembered that scene. Oh if you had watched the first OVA, you know the scene.
And just like that, peculiar event deux occurred. My lip gave an involuntary quiver and my vision began to cloud. I was on the verge of bawling my eyes out over a memory. An incredibly moving memory yes, but still, drastic measure needed to be taken. I injected a vial of raw undiluted Schwarzenegger sweat into my veins (that I had been saving in case of an emergency), and then bit a live cow on the shoulder, just to be safe.
After a few minutes, I regained enough composure to do some more reading, and discovered that the film is actually being produced by Warner Bros, who are looking to do a full international release. They are also intending this to just be the first in a series of films. I immediately had to go change the oil on my car after reading that last fact, for fear that the other side might take over again.
Now you’ll be happy to know that I eventually recovered to my full manly state, signalled by orchestral flatulence, but it was definitely touch and go for a while there.
Last Updated: January 10, 2012