Ha.
Ha ha.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh man I appreciate a good joke and…what do you mean the headline is for real? Really? REALLY? PLUS ULTRA REALSIES? Well alright then. The SABC! To many it’s the only form of entertainment around, a wheezing husk of past glory that was ruined by having an egocentric maniac with a god complex running the place into the ground so hard that the Australian government wants to deport it for not having a passport to visit the land of the koala.
What was once a trio of channels dedicated to top notch journalism, some solid locally produced shows and a great chance for less well-off to watch some great Hollywood blockbusters, is now a shell of itself that can’t even afford to jet Top Billing’s presenters to far-off locations across the globe so that we can get five minute tastes of a lifestyle that is beyond our means.
But oh, can the SABC still dream of being relevant. In an age where people have realised that being able to dictate what they want to watch as opposed to being given scraps by state-owned enterprises, the likes of Showmax and Netflix have risen to fill a streaming need that anyone with a decent online connection can access, whether it be though a phone or a television set.
The SABC wants in on that action. “As we migrate to digital broadcasting platforms, the SABC will leverage online platforms to allow customers to access SABC content and services anywhere,” SABC CEO Madoda Mxakwe said via MyBroadband.
It is not commonly known that SABCNews online is the second-most accessed online news source in the country. We aim to be number one but are pleased with the progress so far. We intend to go much further, with the aim of putting all our content on our own streaming service. The SABC has developed an integrated OTT strategy with the goal that the SABC develops or acquires its own OTT streaming platform as a medium-term goal.
This will allow the SABC to control its own destiny into the future.
Look, the SABC isn’t wrong to want to pursue a streaming service. Logistically though, it’s going to be a nightmare for them. The only reason why the SABC still has an audience is that next to E-TV it’s the only free game in the country, and is currently being kept alive by a government bailout. The only way for it to make a successful leap to a streaming future is for it to avoid charging a monthly subscription, and even then you have to factor in the obscene data costs of this country.
Which will probably result in them petitioning the government to institute an Internet Licensing fee. Which I’m inclined to pay, lest I incur the wrath of budget Robocop:
Last Updated: October 25, 2019
Pennywise The Dancing Clown
October 25, 2019 at 13:02
What even would the SABC offer program wise?
Wielie Walie re-runs?
Liewe Heksie?
Oscar en Knersus?
Het van Verlange Kraal?
Pariah
October 25, 2019 at 13:01
“Internet Licensing fee”. Come on Darryn, don’t give them ideas…
Pennywise The Dancing Clown
October 25, 2019 at 13:02
“Remember to pay before you fap!”
This message brought to you by the SABC
Jacques Van Zyl
October 25, 2019 at 15:25
I’d laugh but between the FPB, SABC and our GOVT… well this might well be 🙁
Pennywise The Dancing Clown
October 25, 2019 at 13:02
What even would the SABC offer program wise?
Wielie Walie re-runs?
Liewe Heksie?
Oscar en Knersus?
Het van Verlange Kraal?
Admiral Chief
October 25, 2019 at 13:14
I know some guys here would love more Pumpkin Paaaaaaaaaaatch
Pennywise The Dancing Clown
October 25, 2019 at 13:14
Oh dear lord no. As a child I would fantasize about saving the then cute Lauren from that bunch of Soutie Losers!
Nah. It wasn’t that bad.
“Freckles and Speckles will sing a little song!
Woofles goes woof woof woof and sing along!
Pumpkins are tasty and very good to eat!
Pumpkin pie is such a treat!”
Guz
October 25, 2019 at 13:38
?
HvR
October 25, 2019 at 14:17
To be honest I would probably watch Die Swart Kat
Morne Nell
October 25, 2019 at 13:14
Is this a April fools Joke, no wait it is Halloween must be a “screaming service” then.
Darren Peach
October 25, 2019 at 14:04
When is Halloween, My annual forced wear a costume to work day anxiety is coming…
Admiral Chief
October 25, 2019 at 13:14
It’s the right thing to do
(and by right thing, I mean laugh at their useless corrupt faces)
G8crasha
October 25, 2019 at 13:14
The first three lines would have been more than enough content for this article!
Hammersteyn
October 25, 2019 at 13:38
It’s also about as much quality content SABC will have.
Llama In The Rift
October 25, 2019 at 13:27
So at the end of the day we’re left with 444 subscriptions just to watch that one show you might have an interest in…yeah i don’t wana be the one to say this but….DSTV *shudders*
Hammersteyn
October 25, 2019 at 13:38
https://media3.giphy.com/media/3oKIPgTItoddapoR7G/giphy.gif
Guz
October 25, 2019 at 13:38
Dafaq SABC? What are these guys smoking, they cant even get the digital migration done and now they wanna start a streaming service, what a joke and once more as the tax payer we will foot the bill for this crap and someone will tendtrepreneur the whole process
The D
October 25, 2019 at 13:38
Liewe Heksflieks.
Kromas
October 25, 2019 at 13:51
SABC CrapFlix. R500 a month plus add supported subscription service.
Pariah
October 25, 2019 at 13:51
Turns out they’re planning on using the TV Licence number as your login details. So any cost will be included in that.
HvR
October 25, 2019 at 14:17
So I guess SABCstream and chill will come to mean extremely nasty anal or really disappointing sex.
PoisonedBelial
October 25, 2019 at 14:42
I already have their logo *cough cough*
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8d5ab2de59db7c37a2d42544acb634170e402304a1bdd00f9d438515bf45c034.png