Home Entertainment Wait… Did an early cut of Cats contain a bunch of CGI buttholes?!

Wait… Did an early cut of Cats contain a bunch of CGI buttholes?!

3 min read
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I’ve yet to see Cats. As somebody who doesn’t drink excessively and doesn’t indulge in recreational drugs, I’m not sure I’m physically and mentally prepared for the undiluted cinematic horror that is director Tom Hooper’s star-studded big-screen adaptation of the classic (and admittedly already f–king weird) Andrew Lloyd Weber stage production. Just a few days after cleaning up at the Razzies, the critically lambasted 2019 release has hit digital home release, which means a lot of people are finally watching it. Or getting absolutely stoned and then live-tweeting it while they watch, like Seth Rogen.

One other person who watched it was writer/director Ben Mekler (Final Space, Kipo and the Wonderbeasts) and he was left with some questions about how this entire lumbering monstrosity came to be, and mentioned as much on Twitter. He got an unexpected reply though.

Because clearly Cats wasn’t bad enough already. I mean, if they could do what they did to such screen legends as Dame Judy Dench and Sir Ian McKellen by sticking them in those horrible CGI approximations of cat bodies, then clearly there’s no reason why they couldn’t take it one step further and add buttholes.

And just like that, desperate for a diversion from the gloom and doom of Coronavirus, the Internet perked up. Cries of “#ReleaseTheButtholeCut” popped up everywhere, with both fans and other filmmakers demanding to see this anus-filled nightmare.

Unfortunately, I am here to shatter your furry dreams of cinematic feline sphincters as it would seem that there’s no such thing as a “Butthole Cut” of Cats. Well, not exactly, as Mekler explained in a later update.

So there weren’t any buttholes in Cats. Only things that looked like buttholes. And vaginas. On humanoid cats. Singing about whatever the frak “jellicles” are. Dear gods, I need to see this movie. After consuming copious amounts of alcohol, of course.

Last Updated: March 19, 2020

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