You don't have to look for the full TARZAN trailer, it will find you!

2 min read

We still have a good couple of years before we see True Blood‘s Eric Northman swinging on some vines in director David Yates’ new version of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ classic tale, Tarzan. And with Hollywood’s renewed interest in a big budget pic of the Lord of the Jungle, that obviously means one thing: a cheap animated knockoff, starring the voice of that guy from Twilight and that really godawful looking Hercules movie, which now throws some Avatar story beats into the mix as well.

Okay, so maybe that isn’t that obvious, but what is rather clear is that I don’t expect this film to be anything more than just meh at best.

Germany’s Constantin Film is swinging into “Tarzan,” with this 3D animated feature. Tarzan (Kellan Lutz) and Jane Porter (Spencer Locke) face a mercenary army dispatched by the evil CEO of Greystoke Energies, a man who took over the company from Tarzan’s parents, after they died in a plane crash.

Sweet baby Xenu on a pogo-stick! Can that music get any more dramatic in the second half of that trailer? It’s like “Jane smiles” DUUHNN DUHN DUHN DUUUHHN!

Now admittedly, while the animation is not exactly Pixar levels here, it’s actually not completely bad. There are some nice hair effects on the characters, several of whom seem rather familiar, wouldn’t you say Disney’s Tarzan?

Kellan Lutz will be providing the voice of Tarzan, but judging from this trailer, he’s no Andy Serkis, that’s for sure. And since my momma taught me that if you can’t say anything nice, you should rather say nothing at all, that’s the last comment I’m going to make. Except to say, meteor fuel? Really?

Tarzan doesn’t have a release date set yet.


Last Updated: October 23, 2013

Kervyn Cloete

A man of many passions - but very little sleep - I've been geeking out over movies, video games, comics, books, anime, TV series and lemon meringues as far back as I can remember. So show up for the geeky insight, stay for the delicious pastries.

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