It’s no secret that the world is eagerly awaiting Half-Life 3. When will we be getting it though? Valve have been tight lipped, not giving any indication as to what their plans are. It’s been seven long years since gamers last klapped things with a crowbar in HL2: Episode 2, and it’s making them crazy. How crazy you ask? Well, a pair of interns are looking to raise $150 000 to get Valve’s attention. Sorry did I say attention? I mean harass. They want $150 000 to harass them.
$3000 – AdWord Campaign
The goal behind this tier is to target the 300 Valve employees with a Google AdWord campaign. If any staff member searches their name in the engine, they will see a simple advert on the side stating “we want Half-Life 3”
$9000 – Mobile Billboard
A mobile billboard will be rented and plastered with a logo and message saying “We-Want 3”. That vehicle will then spend and entire day driving around Valve HQ.
$45 000 – Gabe Newell Look-a-Likes
This is easily the most bizarre of all the goals. If reached, a whole lot of Gabe Newell lookalikes will be hired and kitted out with “We-Want HL3” shirts, then tasked with walking around Valve HQ. The whole thing will then be filmed for the whole world to see.
$150 000 – A concert
If reached, a huge Half-Life concert will be held, and all the Valve employees will be invited. The music lineup will feature some of the biggest names in video game music.
If you were too lazy to read everything above, you can watch this video instead.
If you’re interested, you can donate anything from $1 (for good karma) up to $3000 for a song about you written by JJ Lewis. At time of writing, $1057 has been raised with 29 days to go.
I know this is meant to be in good fun. It does really seem to border on harassing Valve’s employees though. Do they really need a reminder that Half-Life 3 isn’t out yet? I’m sure they have plans. Whether those include releasing the game or not, it really is none of our business.
Personally, and I am sure I have written this several times, I think Valve are working on an Orange Box 2. It will include a shiny new Source engine, Half-Life 3, Portal 3, Team Fortress 3, and Left 4 Dead 3. I would say Dota 3 too, but that seems silly and unnecessary as the game isn’t even 100% complete yet (there are still some missing heroes).
If for some odd reason I am correct, each of those titles would require a huge amount of work and polish to meet Valve standards. I’d like to think they are gearing up for some big reveal in the next few years. Will it meet all the hype we’ve built up? Probably not. It will still be damn awesome though.
Last Updated: October 20, 2014