Another Aliens: Colonial Marines patch is inbound

2 min read


The first quarter of the gaming calendar is almost over, and we’ve seen some magnificent games released so far, with one or two other big names rounding off that period. We’ve also seen some decidedly craptastic garbage shovelled out, and that includes Aliens: Colonial Marines. Thanks to the fact that the game is more painful than a chestburster, people have been more than a little bit peeved so far. Which is why more patches are on the way.

Speaking at the PAX East panel via Kotaku, Gearbox developers confirmed that the new fixes for the game will see several changes to the gameplay. Those changes include:

  • More aggressive AI
  • Tweaked difficulty
  • Better data protection
  • More combat feedback (Smart Gun Tracking, Xeno Death Animation)
  • Improved PC Visuals
  • Support for Hot Fixes coming online

Just don’t expect an apology for a game that has already received a 4gig patch for better visuals on PC. It still reinforces the idea that Gearbox farmed the project over to developer TimeGate during the five year incubation process, resulting in the lacklustre final product.

Geoff decided that he hates me more than usual, and recently foisted the game into my care. And awmahgerd, he was right.

Aliens: CM Punk’d is like taking a Face-Hugger Xenomorph to the…er, face. And by now, I seriously doubt that a patch is going to help the people who have actually played the game.

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Last Updated: March 25, 2013

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • “Well, I hope it’s a long ceremony, ’cause it’s gonna be a short honeymoon.”

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      Loved that movie hehehe

      • Yay 🙂 Spaceballs fan … but I feel really old admitting that lol

        • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

          Pfff. Who cares! It just means you grew up in a time of awesomeness!

          “Keep firing assholes!”

          • HAHA Nice!! 🙂 so true man! We were actually blessed to grow up with that. This generation the kids are growing up with twilight and the likes, what did we get ?? SPACEBALLS!! 🙂

          • Wtf101

            Ever since Spaceballs, whenever I hear “Jam their Radar!” in any movie/tv show, I see a big jar of jam hurtling through space…

          • HAHAHA

          • Johann

            Same here buddy, same here. Ah those movies were the best, but then most of Mel Brooks’ movies were awesome.

      • Deon Steyn

        Rick Moranis, still a better Sith Lord than Hayden Christensen

        • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

          You win the internet for today

        • 🙂

          • OVG

            Nice Helmet 🙂

          • Lord Helmet is pleased hehe

        • Wtf101

          My ass is a better Shit… Sorry Sith Lord than Hayden Christensen

        • 40 Insane Frogs

          That’s it, when I get home, I’m dusting off my Space Balls DVD and watching it.

  • Deon Steyn

    Spaceballs Header! I heard the have a pet name for one of the aliens… Patches.

  • Sir Captain Rincethis

    Well, if the patch somehow allows one’s computer to burn all information off the actual disk, without harming your computer, that would be a step in the right direction.

  • Admiral Chief Erwin

    Now the question, if someone who has NOT played the broken ACM, and then plays the “fixed” ACM, will that person now enjoy the game?

    • Twakkie

      Will let you know in a years time, after I have bought it on a steam sale 🙂

      • Deon Steyn

        Hopefully we can but with all the patches loaded already…

    • DBL_ZA

      Lol, sounds like a Philosoraptor meme 😛

      • Admiral Chief Erwin

        Like this?

        • DBL_ZA

          ^ Give this man a Bell’s!!

          Well done Sir!

  • 40 Insane Frogs

    Have to love this current age of Pay-to-Play beta gaming. You pay and beta test all in one! Fantastic!

    • Admiral Chief Erwin

      Matty, that you?

      • 40 Insane Frogs

        Matty? Nay sir, I’m the Frogs.

        • Admiral Chief Erwin

          I see past the lie 😛

          • 40 Insane Frogs

            There is no spoon…. Only a fork! 😀

  • konfab

    To quote the Greyjoys: “What is dead may never die”

  • OVG

    PATCH just proves the game is a broken piece of shit. SKYRIM you came close to that pile of shit after 80hours with low textures and no slow mo arrow shots.

    Why do gamers accept this shit? never mind the fact that they spent $59 on steaming doo doo, but they release the PRODUCT broken. Like buying a new car but you have to wait for THE FCKING WHEELS to be put on.

  • Skyblue

    To quote Godsmack, coz they sum up Colonial Marines best…

  • Guess who’s pirating GearBox games in the near future? Yes.. now I’m part of the problem.

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