Eleven other things that you could spend the money for a Wii U on

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Yesterday, we got official confirmation on the pricing for the Nintendo Wii U. And even though it’s pretty much in line with UK pricing, which we fall under (NO DOLLAHS!), it’s still going to be damn expensive. A deluxe version of the console will cost you R5000 at least, while a barebones kit will grab R4000 from your bank account. That’s a lot of cash. Here’s what else you could spend it on, instead.

For R5000 you can:

Stock up on summer gaming

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Here’s a list of games that you can buy, which should see you through the holiday season. Family be damned! Assassin’s Creed 3, Need for Speed Most wanted, Halo 4, Far Cry 3 and Call of Duty will most likely cost you around R3000 all together, leaving a chunk of change over for some bargain bin scavenging, and some spare batteries.

And maybe a new chair, because by the time that you’re done gaming, you’ll have left quite the posterior imprint on your seat.

Tip a lot of strippers

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We’re horrible people here at Lazygamers, except for Yolanda, but she’ll sink low enough eventually. R5000 will allow you to tip quite a few girls working their way through college, but there’s a downside. Because with that amount of cash, you’re going to run out of ladies quite quickly, and have to resort to stuffing R10 notes in the gyrating thong of a Chippendale model, before long.

A new kitty

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Sure, you could adopt one from the SPCA which is the right thing to do and all that, or you can splurge some cash and buy the most regal of all cats, the Maine Coon and have your own massive pet. And playing with a massive bundle of fluff and love that sheds hair everywhere and will crush you with ease, is also cheaper.

Expect to pay around R3000 for a good pedigree. That leaves you with enough cash to keep the cat fed for a whole month! Score! (Ed’s note: Plus, it’s the only pussy Darryn could get)

Booze

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Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems. You could buy quite a few bottles of beer for R5000. 500 bottles of Guinness, according to my friends, to be exact. Or, you could class up the joint and get yourself a bottle of fine whisky, something that is brewed using buzz-words such as “extra-matured” and “Scottish”. Such as this bottle of Jameson, which will set you back R4000.

I wonder what that would taste like mixed in with some Pepsi?

Five VIP tickets to Bon Jovi in May next year

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Hey, if you can’t live without a Wii U, you might as well live on a prayer. It’s now or never, and buying several tickets for the May show next year ensures that you and your mates can have a nice day.

We give Bon Jovi jokes a bad name.

Nerf Guns

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According to the Lazygamer science department, which is not just some random hobo with a lab coat on, Nerf Guns are the greatest invention in the history of mankind. You can grab a decent pistol from Reggies fro around R120, while larger, more automatic options will set you back around R300 and upwards.

Or hit eBay, and grab an entire arsenal of guns. And help me defeat Gavin and Geoff!

An arcade cabinet

We’ve mentioned them before, and seeing as how you can rekindle some nostalgic love for the same price as a deluxe Wii U console, we’ve giving to props to Eurasian Entertainment. For 4500 smackers, you can get yourself a custom cabinet with over 200 games and big-ass TV screen, and pump 20 cent coins in for something that will most likely be used far, far more than the upcoming dust magnet.

Donate it to charity

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Bwahahahahaha! Like that will ever happen! Moving on.

Kickstart some games

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Why give your money to the big money-hungry corporations man! Fight the system! Hack the planet! There’s plenty of games out there, looking for some crowd-sourcing, and they’ve got incentives to match the donations given to them.

Our recommendation? Give some money to Chris Roberts for Star Citizen. Lord knows, we need some new space fighter games. Get to it!

Exercise Equipment

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Lookit them jelly rolls! Jelly rolls I say! It’s summer, and our vainglorious culture demands that we look good, or at least die trying. And what better way than with a home gym setup? You can find them pretty much at any massive sports shop, and once you decide to give up after a month, that kit will look great in your living room as it gathers dust!

Geoff’s undying love

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Who says that money can’t buy you happiness? Give R5000 to Geoff, and he’d be pretty damn happy I think. And it would be an awesome investment. Geoff makes ice cream, can kick all the bully ass you want online in Street Fighter and will most likely drive you anywhere you want to go within his general vicinity, two whole times. What a bargain!

Last Updated: October 30, 2012

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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