Home Gaming Fight Fat…The Nintendo Way! Or learn not to crash your car. Your choice?

Fight Fat…The Nintendo Way! Or learn not to crash your car. Your choice?

3 min read


So we all know people don’t like to admit that they love video games. Hey, it’s okay. I know we’re all not about to go stand in front of a beach of scantily clad women and shout: I love video games and I have a poster of Solid Snake on my wall…who wants to get it on?

But Nintendo are now trying to get the word out and get people using their products even more.

Nintendo, you sneaky little rat bast…anyway, so they (the evil corporation known as Nintendo) have now resorted to get fat people to lose weight and young people to stop driving like idiots to make money.

Yes, it’s true. Your fat? Get a Wii. You wanna learn to drive? Get a Wii. Okay, maybe I’m over exaggerating. Maybe not? Check these headlines…

This was the headline that MaxConsole boasted:

Former Dallas Schools chairman to take Wii fitness challenge


What’s this you ask? Well, Donald Claxton, the former Dallas Schools chairman has accepted a new challenge – to utilize the Wii in order to reduce his weight problem.

Claxton, a clearly over-weight man has accepted an informal challenge to promote EA’s new fitness game for the Wii. This EA title is none other than EA Sports Active. So now, instead of paying your monthly gym fee and actually having a proper one, you can pay the same amount as one months gym subscription and get…an entire 180th of the same workout as you would at the gym! WOW!

Here’s what Nintendo had to say about it: (PS: This isn’t Donald Claxton in the picture. Just a picture of some fat guy with his Wii Fit which I thought was pretty funny…)

Donald Claxton, DISD’s former spokesman, is working to lose weight while helping test a Nintendo Wii program.
Donald Claxton is huffing and puffing to lose the pounds – one of a dozen participants in an informal challenge to promote the rollout of the new EA Sports Active fitness program for the Nintendo Wii.
The Balch Springs resident has lost 12 pounds since getting the device on April 18. He has a Wii bit to go. His goal is to shed an additional 130 pounds from his 369-pound frame over the next year.

12 pounds? Wow! That’s, actually, that’s pretty damn good for like 2 months. Maybe I should shut up and follow his principles. Anyway, I know the other piece of Nintendo corporate hound dog info that has been released is this little Wii gem:

Kids Taught Not to Text While Driving – Mario Kart Wii Version

When Real Life intersects with the Mushroom Kingdom


So yeah, apparently, kids in some Christian School in Colorado are getting taught lessons in not driving while texting via the Wii game Mario Kart. This is a double edged sword for me, because even though I pretty much despise the Wii (it doesn’t count as a next gen system, so stop putting it up there with the Xbox and PS3, Nintendo) this is a pretty awesome way to learn some skills around driving. But learning not to text while driving?

What? Nintendo, you really cater for the smart kids don’t you?

Ah, I just realized something…I text while I drive. What? I’m damn good at it, okay? So leave me alone! Geez Nintendo, stop being right okay?

I know I had some point in all of this…um…fat people getting skinnier and kids learning not to crash. What was my point again? I know I had one!

Oh yes, Nintendo is evil! Mwa ha ha! No guys, what do you think? I simply put this up there, because even though I love video games, I think we’re kind of getting sloppy when we’re helping people with their weight or teaching kids to drive all through a video game system. Shouldn’t we be showing them the old fashioned way? Maybe I’m wrong and going crazy. Am I?

Last Updated: May 19, 2009

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