Geoff was gracious enough to let me use his 3DS until I finally snag my own next week, so I’ve been neck-deep in some fantastic Nintendo gaming that I’ve missed out on all these years. I’m finally making my way through my first ever Zelda title, and so far Ocarina of Time is just magical. Now if only someone could explain to me how the hell Super Smash Bros. works, that would be grand.
As you may have noticed we (everyone excluding me apparently) had fun with some Mugabe memes today, in honour of his gracious trip at the airport yesterday. This is probably the greatest gift Bob has ever bestowed on the world, so we thank him for that. Did you find them all?
In Other News: Close Castles grinds to a halt, Google Glass is getting a makeover and no one cares about Nintendo’s YouTube exploitation.
Here’s the news we didn’t post today, because we were all too busy trying to learn Mugabe’s latest dance moves.
News
Threes! Creator Puts In-development PlayStation 4 Game Close Castles On Hold
Despite PewDiePie Backlash, Nintendo is Flooded With YouTube Partner Requests
Oceania gets its first League of Legends eSports League
Epic reflects on Fortnite alpha; shows off impressive user creations
Elite Dangerous 1.1 adds Community Goals and enhancements
Stuff
Android 5.1 Lollipop appear on Android One devices
Twitter CEO admits, ‘We suck at dealing with abuse’ in leaked memo
Google Glass’ new boss wants to redesign the headset ‘from scratch’
Videos
You can beat Dying Light with no weapons, just punches and dropkicks
Dying Light: how to play the secret Super Mario level
The Movies
Get back in the saddle with the trailer for MAGIC MIKE XXL
JOHN WICK sequel already in development!
WE REVIEW JUPITER ASCENDING – FANTASTICALLY CREATIVE BUT FRUSTRATINGLY UNEVEN SCI-FI OPUS
ROBOTECH movie back online with Mama director Andy Muschietti attached
Get ready for one last ride in this explosive new trailer for FURIOUS 7
TOP LIST THURSDAYS – TOP 10 F-BOMB MOVIES
Model: Yolandi Malherbe
Last Updated: February 5, 2015
Admiral Chief
February 5, 2015 at 16:03
http://cdn.24.co.za/files/Cms/General/d/2983/d96dbe0f4a3c4181a9bbe1ac18e696f2.gif
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:09
I like how the side mirror breaks off on his head
Ghost In The Rift
February 5, 2015 at 16:26
Sies, kan jou Oupa ok gewees het LOL!!
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:31
Dit kon 100 keer erger gewees het. Hopelik het hy ‘n les geleer.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:31
Presies ja
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:32
ergste is, hy het vinniger begin loop die oomblik toe hy sien iets kom aan
Ghost In The Rift
February 5, 2015 at 16:34
LOL true, cant argue.
CAE9872
February 5, 2015 at 16:46
Is dit Afrikaans dag alweer?
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:47
Donderdag is altyd Afrikaans dag.
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 21:50
Ghost het al weer hiermee begin
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:23
And that kids is why you should always LOOK when you cross the road.
*Glares at 90% of SA pedestrians.
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:25
Honked at a herd of school children yesterday. Zero fucks were given about traffic. The one boy acted all tough and I almost pulled over.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:27
It’s really sad actually. Back in school we had traffic classes, teaching us how to behave as a pedestrian in traffic. That doesn’t happen any more, and people have NO regard for their lives, or the lives of others.
And remember, even though it’s illegal to be walking on a highway, if you crash into and kill a pedestrian, taking a chance on one – it’s your fault, and you go to jail.
Ghost In The Rift
February 5, 2015 at 16:29
LOL like we had Skolie Patrolie in school, had the reflector jacket with the stop sign, not so more these days.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:30
Yeah :/
It’s like the people in power decided kids’ lives were no longer worth protecting…
Spaffy
February 5, 2015 at 16:44
The people in power are a bunch of self enriching assholes who couldn’t give a fuck about anything, let alone something specific like kids’ lives.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:45
Yep. Because they’ll stay in power forever. So who cares about kids anyway?
Spaffy
February 5, 2015 at 16:46
Well if uncle bob is anything to go by…
CAE9872
February 5, 2015 at 16:45
I agree 100% but have you noticed the parents half the time? These neanderthals, as I call many of them (and I am a parent), drop their child off with zero regard as to where; and then roar off down the road straight through the zebra crossings, etc.
And that’s just the tiny school in my neck of the woods. One day I will be forced to take them on. And come hell or high water I will win that fight against the neanderthal.
Anyway, point being that the parents don’t teach the kids manners, patience, etc so kids just follow the lead.
I wish people needed licenses to have kids. Make it R25,000 application per child; show you can take care of them, etc.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:47
That’s a very valid point. I say it often enough in other areas, but it’s 100% true. More often than not, Parents have a lot of the blame resting squarely on their shoulders.
Cunts.
Spaffy
February 5, 2015 at 16:47
R25000 per child? What would the “govamant grant” be worth then?
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:48
About the same. But they’ll give those grants from bigger mansions.
HvR
February 5, 2015 at 16:30
Schools had to choose between teaching how to safely cross a road or how to correctly put on a condom.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:31
Really? For 8 year olds?
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:31
Yup, that was an awesome Southpark episode!
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:31
South Park reference? That’s why I wouldn’t get it. South Park is dumb.
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:33
*thud
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:33
The first ten season were pretty funny. But now it’s all about making fun of current issues
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:34
*seasons
But no. Not one episode was funny.
I am VERY particular in my tastes in comedy. South Park isn’t it.
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:35
Yeah, I miss the random craziness of episodes like Spooky Fish, Pink Eye and Mecha Streisand. Although, there are some of those in the later seasons as well: Major Boobage, The Coon and Pinewood Derby
Ghost In The Rift
February 5, 2015 at 16:39
And don’t forget your towel!
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:44
I’m so high, I’ve no idea what’s going on
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:31
He went to pimp school
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:32
Wow. He must’ve failed then. Poor guy. *RUNS
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:32
Same here, hell we even learned about land mines.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:33
Where the hell did you grow up? O_O
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:43
Near the Namibian border
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:43
That makes sense then. Ok.
HvR
February 5, 2015 at 16:44
We had the same down in Cape Town, think anybody below the age of 29 never experienced it.
Blood Emperor Trevor
February 5, 2015 at 18:44
They had those big poster thingies with limpet mines & the like on so we could recognise them.
HvR
February 5, 2015 at 19:29
Those were up in all the malls as well usually next a big yellow case with a bomb blanket.
HvR
February 5, 2015 at 16:34
Had this chat the other as well. We also learned about landmines, grenades the evil terrorists were going to kill as if we didn’t get underneath the desks fast enough.
Ghost In The Rift
February 5, 2015 at 16:37
LOL we had to learn how to take safety from mortar shells, even had the bomb siren, hate that sound.
HvR
February 5, 2015 at 16:40
Our school was cheap they used the normal school bell just rang it multiple times (short rings take cover in class, long rings GTFO).
One moment you think it is break time getting out your samie then you hear the next ring drop the samie and take cover behind the fat kid.
Ghost In The Rift
February 5, 2015 at 16:42
Bahahaha, shame, always the fat kid, strange that the fat kids in our schools were never bully’s, always them Americans lol
Blood Emperor Trevor
February 5, 2015 at 18:43
Throwing your trash in the bin at the shopping centre was an adventure!
Admiral Chief
February 5, 2015 at 16:03
Ek moet strand toe gaan
Admiral Chief
February 5, 2015 at 16:04
Thank goodness no Bob in the ION header
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:19
Soon…….
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/B9BmgDIIEAEbnQT.jpg
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:20
Stay cool bro.
Unless you’re Trev, then you’re permanently “frosty”.
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:21
I think a couple of these might make the frontpage of imgur in a couple of days 😛
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:23
There’s already quite a few memes all over Google.
Lardus-Resident Perve
February 5, 2015 at 16:05
Wow – she has an EXQUISITE body/face combo! Truly, unless some silly food gets it, ION of the week! Very lovely!
Lardus-Resident Perve
February 5, 2015 at 16:06
Also, John Wick and Robotech WOOHOO!! Will read the Jupiter review a bit later. First I need to continue parsing 120GB worth of IIS log files 🙁
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:07
Robotech especially
Lardus-Resident Perve
February 5, 2015 at 16:16
Gotta watch the re-mastered edition again. Just need to remember to mute Min May grrrr
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:18
hahahaha
Lardus-Resident Perve
February 5, 2015 at 16:21
Seriously though, if I have to hear her “brand new song” again…
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:19
and she prefers Samsung! Win!
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:20
So she’s smart too.
Lardus-Resident Perve
February 5, 2015 at 16:20
Beauty and brains!
Sageville
February 5, 2015 at 16:20
^This^
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:06
Yis! Got them all. Then again he was pretty easy to spot. The Link one was the best.
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:20
NAG used to kill me each month with that damn badger of theirs 😛
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:21
hahaha, it was near impossible most of the times.
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:36
I think I only ever found one once. Just before the next issue was released. >_< Those were damn impossible.
So Hard (Umar)
February 5, 2015 at 16:14
NOTHING ELSE MATTERS…PERSONA 5 BABY
Kensei Seraph
February 5, 2015 at 22:37
Anime?
Game?
Both??
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:16
Damn that ION. Finally, a homegrown I can support. You know, because bras need to be replaced by hands. My hands.
Matewis Jubilai
February 5, 2015 at 16:16
It’s taken 7 years, and finally World of Goo is on GOG! Incidentally, GOG was also founded 7 years ago
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:17
Llew must be having a wonderful day!
Sageville
February 5, 2015 at 16:18
I didn’t see a Kung Lau in that MKX screenie…
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:22
He’s there alright
The D
February 5, 2015 at 16:27
Sally left one out:
Tosh MA
February 5, 2015 at 16:28
Jesus, you’d have to have eagle eyes to spot that one! O_O
Ghost In The Rift
February 5, 2015 at 16:31
Damn!!
HvR
February 5, 2015 at 16:32
Missed that one and Majora.
Hammersteyn
February 5, 2015 at 16:41
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!