Like a rolling stone, here comes Rock Simulator 2014

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The Rock

We take a lot of our games for granite these days. Slate of the art visuals leave no stone unturned in the pursuit of a game that will make other titles shale in comparison. But simulator games crag me up, what with their various attempts to soil the genre by unearthing a new genre that no publisher has excavated before. And thus, we finally have a potential diamond in the rough in the form of Rock Simulator.

Yes ladies and Germans, we have reached the plateau of simulation games, with a digital equivalent of a pet rock. Still, if ya can smell what this game is cookin’, here’s the official synopsis for the project that is currently waiting to be unearthed on Steam Greenlight:

Rock (2)

For a long time, there has been one game missing from the market, a genuine rock simulator. I am here for you today to introduce you to Rock Simulator 2014. This simulator is a rock enthusiasts dream. You can watch beautiful rocks in any location in the world. From grass plains to salt flats, there are dozens of hand designed BEAUTIFUL environments.

Rock

I’ve got a self-imposed word count that I like to reach with each and every article, but hell, I may have just bitten the dust on this crazy concept of a game. I think I need to hit the bedrock and go take a dirt nap before I dig myself into an even deeper hole.

Last Updated: June 26, 2014

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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