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Of course Cyberpunk 2077 has a porn parody

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Cyberpunk 2069

I was going to start this entire article about a certain game…arriving, but it’s too early for a shock value opener I think. Anyway! Cyberpunk 2077, CD Projekt Red’s absurdly-hyped game. It looks alright on old-gen consoles, definitely better on new machines through backwards compatibility, and it’s arriving at a point in the year that has led to a massive increase in professional video game guides writers are pondering about going skydiving without a parachute.

Whether it sinks or swims, Cyberpunk 2077 is going to dominate the news cycle for a good period of time after launch, not only through reviews and features but through its impact on pop culture. And when you’ve got the most-hyped video game in history arriving in a mere number of days, of course you’re going to have a porn parody to go with it.

The porn version of CD Projekt Red’s new game is literally just called Cyberpunk 2077 XXX Parody and stars probably-not-their-real-names Sif Black and Sindal Xie. I’ve got no problem with that, but I’m annoyed by how the producers couldn’t come up with a better title for a film about launching the meat missile. It’s right there, it’s so obvious c’mon.

In case you’re wondering, CD Projekt Red is aware of this as Rafał Jaki, business development director at CD Projekt Red, tweeted:

A couple of years back, CDPR had another brush with a specialist in putting the wand in the chamber of secrets, as The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings got a porn parody called The Bitcher: The Dildo of Destiny has two ends back when that game was released. Inevitable? Absolutely. Necessary? Considering how much riding the Bony Express you’ll be able to do in Cyberpunk 2077 using augmented genitals, your horniness should be sated in the full package.

Last Updated: November 30, 2020

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