Espurr (6)

There’s a ton of new pocket monsters to catch in Pokémon X and Y. Sylveon is a cool new addition (And my prettiest Pokémon, oh yes), while there are a few weaker debuts as usual (A bunch of keys? Really Game Freak?). But none of them are as fantastically creepy, as Espurr.

Before we start the funny, here’s what you need to know about the psychic kitten, according to the Pokedex entries for it:

Y: It has enough psychic energy to blast everything within 300 feet of itself, but it has no control over its power.

X: The organ that emits its intense psychic power is sheltered by its ears to keep power from leaking out.

So what we have here, is a kitten with enough psychic power to level your face. But Espurr’s real ability, is in its gaze. Just look at it. Gaze into the face of madness!

Espurr (7)Espurr (8)Espurr (9)Espurr (10)Espurr (1)Espurr (1)Espurr (1)Espurr (2)Espurr (2)Espurr (3)Espurr (4)Espurr (5)

Espurr (14)Espurr (11)Espurr (12)Espurr (13)

Of course, this could all just be looking too deeply into Espurr, and seeing something else. Espurr could be a perfectly normal Pokemon, that would never, ever, hurt you.

Oh sweet Bod, make it stop staring at me, I beg you…

Last Updated: November 4, 2013

was reviewed on PC

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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