I can’t think of anything to write here in the intro. So I’ll just have a dance-off instead. Oooh child, things are gonna be easier, ooh child things are going to be bright listen to these words some day, things are gonna be briiiiighter NOW BREAK IT DOWN!
Best Story
Could we be seeing a new Age Of Empires on the horizon? Does a Persian War Elephant crap on a Teuton Knight in Regicide mode? Hopefully the answer to both of those questions, is a resounding and smelly yes.
Worst Story
Sorry PC gamers: You’re going to have to wait a few extra months before you get your taste of GTA V. It’s not exactly surprising news, but it certainly does sting quite a bit, as the game has managed to be on both old and current-gen consoles so far, allowing fans of those platforms to presumably make an L-symbol on their foreheads and grin like a proper git. But on an even dastardlier note, the idea that longtime hardware manufacturer Gigabyte happens to be selling off inferior hardware to gamers, may just take the cake. The rather pissy cake, at this point.
Best ION Header
Remember kids, as long as I’m in charge, this award will always go to actual human beings. Stunningly attractive human beings, who most likely have restraining orders against me.
Most Comments
Evolve has a fourth monster on the way, and it’s bigger than your ex-girlfriend. The only thing bigger than the Behemoth however, are the comments for the post from Z, as discussing PC specs always gets you lot frothing. While we sit back and enjoy our popcorn as we watch the comments unfold. You guys are better than DSTV.
Least Comments
Dammit, it took me several years of waiting to get the right story to make Naruto musical puns. Did you flock to the post? Noooooooooooo, instead you all got distracted by something shinier and less obscure. I’ll be crying in the corner, if anyone needs me. Which I doubt very much. Sob.
Batman Of The Week
As I’m writing this, our Batman of the week is currently Alessandro, with Geoff in hot pursuit. Will our caped cabbage make it to the deadline with his cowl intact? Tune in, same cabbage channel, same cabbage time next week to find out! Update: NOPE! Geoff took Al from the rear and replaced him as Batman. And it was before the FFD went live.
Header Image Of The Week
Geoff, you beauty.
Comment Of The Week
Raptor Rants A Lot nails it this week, over the new Nintendo 3DS XL shipping without a power charger. Which is like adopting a ginger child without a soul, except this is even more backwards:
All jokes aside this is the exact reason why Nintendo would fail as a company. I dig Nintendo and their games. They are fun and they remind me why gaming is great.
However, Nintendo clearly have no faith in themselves. They don’t sell it with a charger because they believe people will be upgrading. That’s all fine and well. It’s good to believe your existing customers will take up the new product. But what about new adopters? By saying that you expect people to upgrade you are saying you don’t expect new people to climb on board.
Making your product more unappetizing by excluding critical hardware that is required for use is a sure fire way of NOT getting new people on board. You are almost guaranteeing a slower new user uptake.
I can see the reasoning behind this, but I feel it’s stupid. Secondly, by this point people might want new chargers. Theirs are probably all looking a bit worse for wear after years of use so if they upgrade they’d want new chargers to go with their new product.
Bad idea Nintendo. You are not making a very good looking scene for new adopters of your hardware
Have seven upvotes for that Llew.
Bonus VHS content
Hey, pass me a beer?
Last Updated: January 16, 2015
Captain JJ Saga
January 16, 2015 at 12:34
Who said Rants will get you nowhere. ;P
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:57
I’m famous!!!
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:58
Infamous is more like it
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:58
Infamous: Seventh Son.
Coming to a console near you!
Quo Vadis?
January 16, 2015 at 13:00
Yea, kinda like Corky from “life goes on” was famous ;P
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:03
Yikes…that is….yeah, let’s just leave it at that
Quo Vadis?
January 16, 2015 at 13:04
too soon/ harsh? 😀
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:06
Oh, no punishment is too severe or too soon for Llew.
One just does not make fun of people with Down’s Syndrome :/
Quo Vadis?
January 16, 2015 at 13:14
That was not what I was hinting at. He was “famous” because of who he is, same with Raptor 😉
Soon as “life goes on” was cancelled, his star also was struck from the Hollywood sky, being a brief stint at the top. Same as Raptor 😀
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:22
I dunno, I think this 7 thing is going to stick for a while…
Quo Vadis?
January 16, 2015 at 13:38
LOL I am actually starting to feel sorry for the guy tbh.
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:11
Ha!, seven votes!!!
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:36
LOL. Enjoy the upvotes Llew! 😀
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:48
Grrrrrrrrrrr
Quo Vadis?
January 16, 2015 at 12:51
Hey, the D said it, not us 😀
But compliments on a well written opinion piece. Coherent, factually sound and very informative.
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:52
Which he’s actually well known for. But that competition combined with random.org screwed him over.
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:56
FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:13
7 😀
RinceThis
January 16, 2015 at 13:01
Upvote this till 7th heaven!
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:12
7!
Hammersteyn
January 16, 2015 at 12:37
Geoff stole it this week.
img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/comics-batsvsupes-gif-1802777.gif
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:46
Hahaha
Hammersteyn
January 16, 2015 at 12:37
Seven thumbs up Llew
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:50
*starts frothing at the mouth*
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:13
7!!!!
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 15:04
FFFUUU
hairyknees
January 16, 2015 at 12:39
Dafuq… you know Lazy is lacking a cabbage when one NEARLY gets Batman 😛
Hammersteyn
January 16, 2015 at 12:40
Alesandro of all people O_o
Lord Chaos
January 16, 2015 at 12:41
What the hell did I just watch? O_o
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:41
Geoff took Al from behind….sucks being an intern
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:41
Literally…
HvR
January 16, 2015 at 12:46
Tossed cabbage salad with some Asian soy dressing anyone?
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:50
Asian teabags are good for the eyes I hear
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:13
OMfW 7!!!!!!!!!!
RinceThis
January 16, 2015 at 13:01
0-O
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:45
I should make a video like that, so damn cool!
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:47
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:47
seriously? 7 upvotes? Et Tu Darryn?
That’s like 7 stabs in the back already 😛
HairyEwok
January 16, 2015 at 12:48
Need a band aid… or seven for that back?
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:49
Won’t help. He needs 7 stitches.
HairyEwok
January 16, 2015 at 12:49
Poor guy let’s give him 7 likes for the pain.
Ceyber, The Metal Rabbit
January 16, 2015 at 12:51
Tada! Another 7!
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:51
Wait… Seriously? Are you all going to leave it on 7 upvotes????
Ceyber, The Metal Rabbit
January 16, 2015 at 12:53
Someone couldn’t resist and spoiled our fun 🙁
Kensei Seraph
January 16, 2015 at 15:08
Seems someone else couldn’t resist either.
Ceyber, The Metal Rabbit
January 16, 2015 at 16:06
It’s back to 7, so we don’t need a blood sacrifice yet.
Lord Chaos
January 16, 2015 at 12:53
Only 2 more comments then you’ve made 7
Blood Emperor Trevor
January 16, 2015 at 13:16
hur hur… again.
Captain JJ Saga
January 16, 2015 at 13:24
haha
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:25
SEVEN!
Captain JJ Saga
January 16, 2015 at 13:31
SEWE!
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:14
Seventh 😀
HairyEwok
January 16, 2015 at 12:51
Our jobs here are done. Now lets go have a beer.
Blood Emperor Trevor
January 16, 2015 at 12:53
Imagine if they came in a 7-pack.
Mossel
January 16, 2015 at 13:30
You might be on to something…I mean it sounds outrageous at first, but then you start to think yes! Why not 7 beers?! Why must we live within the constraints of a mere 6 beers all the time? Who decided this was good enough?! WHO?!
Kensei Seraph
January 16, 2015 at 15:07
Not to mention that the extra space could be used to create a reinforced handle making carrying even easier.
Mossel
January 16, 2015 at 15:15
You just blew my mind.
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:53
NOOOO SOMEONE TAKE BACK THEIR UPVOTE!
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:53
Screenshot taken. No taking it back now.
Ceyber, The Metal Rabbit
January 16, 2015 at 12:54
You’re just full of upvote-worthiness today!
HairyEwok
January 16, 2015 at 12:53
I do it for the familia of 7
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:53
Hahahahahahahaha
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:57
See attached. (Refresh)
Hammersteyn
January 16, 2015 at 12:54
https://iwanticewater.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/bruce-almighty-how-many-fingers-02.gif
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:55
LOOOOOOOOL PERFECT!!!
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:55
hahahahahha
HairyEwok
January 16, 2015 at 12:55
That is sooooo Raptor. XD GG!
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:55
All those in favour that he should change his profile pic to that?
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:55
Me
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 12:56
AYE!
Lord Chaos
January 16, 2015 at 12:56
Aey
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:56
*aye
Lord Chaos
January 16, 2015 at 12:57
*Friday… need beer…
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:59
Agreed, 7 of them!
Hammersteyn
January 16, 2015 at 13:00
Week was too long…….whiskey
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 13:00
This.
Lord Chaos
January 16, 2015 at 13:00
Agreed, I mean, why does it have to take 7 days?
Hammersteyn
January 16, 2015 at 13:01
XD
RinceThis
January 16, 2015 at 13:04
Preach it man! To the pole!
Ceyber, The Metal Rabbit
January 16, 2015 at 12:57
AYE!
CAE9872
January 16, 2015 at 12:58
Most definitely
RinceThis
January 16, 2015 at 13:04
Agreed!
HairyEwok
January 16, 2015 at 13:17
YUS!
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:55
lol
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:15
…
RinceThis
January 16, 2015 at 13:03
Bwahahahahahah!
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:14
😀 !!!!!!!!!
Blood Emperor Trevor
January 16, 2015 at 12:49
You might want to change “Worst Story” to “PC Story least cared about by PC Gamers”
RinceThis
January 16, 2015 at 13:05
??
CAE9872
January 16, 2015 at 12:52
Well commented on Raptor as I said at the time. Have you managed to gain 7 comments of the week yet?
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 12:56
thankfully no lol
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 14:16
This takes trolling to a whole new level 😀
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 15:03
It should have a label. Like “The community troll”
Spaffy
January 16, 2015 at 15:06
You should rename your handle to “Raptor Gets Trolled a Lot”
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 12:56
This HAS to be Llew’s new profile pic!
http://cdn2.screenjunkies.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/jim-carrey-7-fingers-300×225.jpeg
Hammersteyn
January 16, 2015 at 12:57
XD
CAE9872
January 16, 2015 at 12:57
LOL
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 13:03
I think we should all upvote all of his comments to 7, until he changes his pic to this.
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:04
Or just hound EVERY comment until he is forced to change
Lardus-Resident Perve
January 16, 2015 at 13:00
I can help you with those restraining orders…
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 13:13
What I would like to know is how he let this pic of himself get around.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7Zq_RfCUAAHYFn.png:large
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:14
I wonder how….huehuehue
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 13:16
“We need a pic of you. No reason.”
I couldn’t stop laughing.
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:21
XDXDXD
He popped me a vm on Whatsapp asking if I had anything to do with it. I told him to just go with it…
XDXDXD
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 13:24
XDXDXD!!
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:26
I couldn’t stop laughing when he sent me the pic, nearly rolled my car
Raptor Rants A Lot
January 16, 2015 at 13:36
Oh you guys. Always trolling 🙂
Admiral Chief
January 16, 2015 at 13:51
DAT PIC!
ToshZA
January 16, 2015 at 13:59
OMG HE DID IT!
ReBoot
January 16, 2015 at 13:56
XD