Tired of heartbreak at the hands of humans? Find love with pigeons instead!

3 min read
21

COO COO MOTHERF&^$#r

Typing that title felt just as ridiculous as it sounds. Ever heard of Hatoful Boyfriend? It was a visual novel/dating simulator back in 2011, created by Hato Moa. You take the role of a human girl who starts attending St. PigeoNation’s Institute. The catch? All other attendees are pigeons.

So, its a dating simulator where you have develop relationships with… pigeons? Now I’m not one to scoff at games, but this really sounds bizarre. For all I know though, this game could be better than simulating rocks or watching grass grow. Even Goat Simulator sounded crazy when I first heard about it, but that went on to receive some decent reviews.

Still not sold? Perhaps this list of features will sway your decision:

    • An Avian Love Story: Chat with birds of every feather from narcoleptic school instructors to pigeon biker gangs on your way to flirty encounters potential suitors that set your heart aflutter. Spend time with the ones that strike your fancy and ditch the birds that prove to be a bore!
    • Replayability to Fall in Love All Over Again: Build your own nest of intrigue within the St. PigeoNation’s Institute with genre-bending intertwining narratives, hidden stories, surprise paramours, and multiple endings sure to send you back to the start to try a new path and a different love interest.
    • Attend Class and Level Up: Choose elective classes like gym and art class to raise your character’s stats and bend suitors to your will by mixing charisma, vitality and wisdom. Get wise and you’ll pass your classes. Getting fit might save your life!
    • Fowl Twists and Turns: Not everything is as it seems at St. PigeoNation’s Institute! Uncover dark conspiracies, unexpected twists, and hellish fiends bent on bringing on the apocalypse. Pick your dates wisely, and you’ll flap off into the distance with your one true love. Take the wrong turn, and you might just end up murdered in your bed.
    • Sensual Birdfeed: Purchase delicious beans as a gift for your potential love interests and wow your feathered crushes with Calm Corn, Country Millet or Bitter Black Beans.

Its not all doom and gloom really. If the player wishes, they can choose to switch on portraits depicting what the pigeons would look like if they were human. Hatoful Boyfriend will be releasing on Steam on August the 14th. What kills me is that I know if this game had to go on sale at some point (like really, REALLY chirp cheap), I would be incredibly tempted to purchase it, just to see if my preconceived ideas about it are accurate. Yeah that’s it, I will buy it… FOR SCIENCE!

(Header Source)

Last Updated: July 17, 2014

Matthew Figueira

Defence of the Ancients? More like Defence of the cabbages! Have you seen my head? I look like a Merino Sheep on pole. NO SHANGE only SHAPPIES! :D

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