Home Gaming Tired of heartbreak at the hands of humans? Find love with pigeons instead!

Tired of heartbreak at the hands of humans? Find love with pigeons instead!

2 min read
21

COO COO MOTHERF&^$#r

Typing that title felt just as ridiculous as it sounds. Ever heard of Hatoful Boyfriend? It was a visual novel/dating simulator back in 2011, created by Hato Moa. You take the role of a human girl who starts attending St. PigeoNation’s Institute. The catch? All other attendees are pigeons.

So, its a dating simulator where you have develop relationships with… pigeons? Now I’m not one to scoff at games, but this really sounds bizarre. For all I know though, this game could be better than simulating rocks or watching grass grow. Even Goat Simulator sounded crazy when I first heard about it, but that went on to receive some decent reviews.

Still not sold? Perhaps this list of features will sway your decision:

    • An Avian Love Story: Chat with birds of every feather from narcoleptic school instructors to pigeon biker gangs on your way to flirty encounters potential suitors that set your heart aflutter. Spend time with the ones that strike your fancy and ditch the birds that prove to be a bore!
    • Replayability to Fall in Love All Over Again: Build your own nest of intrigue within the St. PigeoNation’s Institute with genre-bending intertwining narratives, hidden stories, surprise paramours, and multiple endings sure to send you back to the start to try a new path and a different love interest.
    • Attend Class and Level Up: Choose elective classes like gym and art class to raise your character’s stats and bend suitors to your will by mixing charisma, vitality and wisdom. Get wise and you’ll pass your classes. Getting fit might save your life!
    • Fowl Twists and Turns: Not everything is as it seems at St. PigeoNation’s Institute! Uncover dark conspiracies, unexpected twists, and hellish fiends bent on bringing on the apocalypse. Pick your dates wisely, and you’ll flap off into the distance with your one true love. Take the wrong turn, and you might just end up murdered in your bed.
    • Sensual Birdfeed: Purchase delicious beans as a gift for your potential love interests and wow your feathered crushes with Calm Corn, Country Millet or Bitter Black Beans.

Its not all doom and gloom really. If the player wishes, they can choose to switch on portraits depicting what the pigeons would look like if they were human. Hatoful Boyfriend will be releasing on Steam on August the 14th. What kills me is that I know if this game had to go on sale at some point (like really, REALLY chirp cheap), I would be incredibly tempted to purchase it, just to see if my preconceived ideas about it are accurate. Yeah that’s it, I will buy it… FOR SCIENCE!

(Header Source)

Last Updated: July 17, 2014

21 Comments

  1. Aries

    July 17, 2014 at 19:06

    NO! Just NO!

    Reply

  2. Umar Fong Wong

    July 17, 2014 at 19:25

    Yes prease!!

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      July 18, 2014 at 07:34

      Can’t we go back to cat people instead?

      Reply

      • Brady miaau

        July 18, 2014 at 07:36

        Never left, my friend, never left.

        Reply

      • Umar Fong Wong

        July 18, 2014 at 07:38

        What Brady said 😛

        Reply

  3. Alien Emperor Trevor

    July 17, 2014 at 19:33

    Reply

    • Umar Fong Wong

      July 17, 2014 at 19:39

      Say yes dammit…dont leave me to be the only one saying Yes!

      Reply

      • Rince&pop

        July 18, 2014 at 07:35

        Wow… That’s 3 yeses… You about done now right?

        Reply

        • Umar Fong Wong

          July 18, 2014 at 07:39

          NEVER, I want to date birds

          Reply

          • Brady miaau

            July 18, 2014 at 07:39

            Welcome to the jungle, we have everything

    • Hammersteyn

      July 18, 2014 at 07:33

      XD

      Reply

    • Rince&pop

      July 18, 2014 at 07:35

      Thank you bro, this was needed 😉

      Reply

    • Brady miaau

      July 18, 2014 at 07:37

      I had an elderly cat once, about 18 years. We had her hair cut at the vet. She celebrated by eating a pigeon and then instantly vomiting the ENTIRE bird up on my Persian carpet. She lived about two more years, but no more birds. She was no longer a spring chicken

      Reply

  4. HvR - Still dislikes Random.or

    July 17, 2014 at 22:52

    To balance out all this pigeon loving

    Reply

  5. Hammersteyn

    July 18, 2014 at 07:33

    This is for the birds.

    Reply

    • Brady miaau

      July 18, 2014 at 07:34

      NOOOOO.

      Had to be done, well done.

      Reply

  6. Rince&pop

    July 18, 2014 at 07:34

    So… If you don’t use protection you stand the chance of contracting Avian Flu? 0_O

    Reply

    • Brady miaau

      July 18, 2014 at 07:35

      ok, look I will just upvote each bad pun here, as long is
      a) is bird related
      b) my work is done (um, yeees)
      c) I still feel like it

      Keep it up!

      Reply

      • Rince&pop

        July 18, 2014 at 07:37

        Lulz

        Reply

  7. 1O8OVG

    July 18, 2014 at 08:50

    I bet this shit gets banned in Australia and censored in the West.
    Bird porn, little bastards get more action than me.

    Reply

  8. Brady miaau

    July 18, 2014 at 09:10

    I had this idea for a cat simulator:

    You get this game, but it only allows you to play at times it chooses, around a schedule you have no view or control of.
    When you can play, the game does not let you know what mode it is in. Can random shut-down or destroy a nearby game if you do not play to the right mode
    Gets control of you cellphone and wakes you up at random times during the night, demanding to be either opened and left open or shut-down. No clue is given as to which. Another game might get destroyed if you get it wrong
    When you leave for work, game will cover the nearest game in green goo, mostly food like
    Finally, if you get a girlfiend, the game will sign you up for various porn sites, queue them for auto showing on the tv every time the game picks up her voice

    note recommended for people who scare easily, people in a relationship, people not in a relationship, young people, old people.

    Food and other accessories sold separately and required to start game. Or unlock game console

    Reply

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