Watch me get horribly murdered constantly in the DOOM Beta

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DOOM. It’s very much like a wigwam and a teepee. Too tense. I think at one point in our life, DOOM has inspired us. It’s the game that put id Software on the scene, was wrongfully accused of being a portal to hell for the young minds of America and possibly the poster-child for why old-school shotguns will always have a place in society.

It’s been a good few years since DOOM has been relevant, years since science fiction and hell crossed paths to create an unholy abomination of blood, guts and unapologetic ultra-violence that used chainsaws and plasma rifles. And sweet rocket-demon, it feels good to be back in the boots of a Marine stuck in a UAC facility that is belching nightmare fuels from the depths of the inferno.

Let’s get this out of the way: DOOM is very much Quake 3 Arena dressed up in the shoes of a modern shooter. And that is absolutely fantastic in terms of an online presence. It’s all there: Health that doesn’t regenerate, armour shards that can be picked up, shotguns which can blow your face off. There’s a certain sense of elegance to the way you glide through a level and take a round of lightning to the face and watch your brains decorate a staircase.

Right now, there’re two modes on offer in the beta: Vanilla Team Death Match and Warpath. Warpath is the infinitely more interesting option of the two, sort of like King of the Hill if that zone was a roving drunk looking for an alley to crash. It gives anyone a decent edge, and makes for some properly intense gameplay.

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What had me gob-smacked so far, is the level of customisation present. Sure, you’ve got your usual Halo-esque armour pieces to mix and match, but seeing that extend through to guns and a Carlton Dance taunt? Winner. There’s something appealing about being able to finish my shotgun with just the right amount of rust and scratches. And paint it hot pink as well.

There’s also a different sense of speed to get used to. Being able to pull a trigger with a reflex speed usually reserved for the Flash. It sounds odd, but while I don;t think DOOM is that much faster than any other popular shooter on the market, it implements that velocity in a different way. Listen, I know it sounds weird, but you have to experience it for yourself

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DOOM is looking like a properly retro shooter so far. And I can get behind that idea with gusto, as soon as I figure out how to survive more than 15 seconds of not having my head ripped off ten times in succession or being target practice for a demon.

Last Updated: April 1, 2016

Darryn Bonthuys

Word-slinger at Critical Hit. Inventor of the macho Swiss gym chocolate known as Testoblerone. That's...that's about it really.

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