Home Gaming What to wear to E3 if you have breasts

What to wear to E3 if you have breasts

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Because... fashionI was going to write an article saying what you should wear to E3, or rAge, if you were male but then I remembered that we can wear whatever we want and no one would care… and then I thought well what about the ladies?

Then I remembered they are also sentient beings and wouldn’t need to be told what to wear at a conference any more than we would… and that’s when I realised how wrong I was.

Forbes… you’ve heard of them before right? Well they’ve posted an article, written by a woman, helpfully telling the ladies heading to E3 what they should wear to a gaming conference.

“Many women prefer to keep a low profile with “non booth babe” wear – like a baggy t-shirt and jeans.  But in an industry trying to attract more female gamers, its worthwhile to spend some time thinking about how what you wear can help you stand out as the savvy gaming industry expert that you are.”

Because the clothes make the women I guess? I’m also guessing this writer doesn’t have a clue about the gaming industry… moving on

“Here are two outfits to inspire your E3 wardrobe – one for a day at the convention center and one for the even more popular after parties.”

Yeah because a lady who wants to be taken seriously in gaming is going to be more interested in the popular after parties.. because that’s way cooler than games right?

“Go ahead and wear your favorite denim with a simple, scoop neck top or your company’s game-themed t-shirt (which I do recommend, because you want to promote your product and yourself), but pair with a streamlined, bright blazer and neon cross body bag, then add super comfy flats. This pair has the added advantage of an eye-catching scalloped edge. Your convention lanyards will act as your statement necklace.”

Oh god shoot me now

How about all the people who bash me for not being open to women only gaming conventions and the need to eject booth babes rather turn your anger onto garbage like this. If your biggest worry about attending E3 is what to wear and which party is going to be the coolest then please do us all a favour and get out of the gaming industry.

Last Updated: June 7, 2013

111 Comments

  1. Yobokkie

    June 7, 2013 at 11:18

    Wow, Yolandi has really let herself go.

    Reply

    • Ultimo_Cleric N7

      June 7, 2013 at 11:22

      HAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
      Yus, laughed so hard now. Upvote central

      Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 7, 2013 at 11:25

      HAHAHAHA! Man!

      Reply

    • Sir Twakkus

      June 7, 2013 at 11:27

      HAHAHA!

      Reply

    • OVG

      June 7, 2013 at 11:36

      Bwahahahaha

      Reply

    • TiMsTeR1033

      June 7, 2013 at 11:47

      shame man….. I laughed my ass off read that

      Reply

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      June 7, 2013 at 12:12

      Hahaha. Dude, Yolanda is going to kick your ass!
      Hehehehehe

      Reply

      • Yobokkie

        June 7, 2013 at 14:54

        Hehe well based on her picture she’s safe I’d say. She has a much further way to fall than die antwoord’s creature.

        Reply

    • Yolanda Green

      June 7, 2013 at 12:13

      I saw, I read, I laughed myself half to death! Bravo good sir xD

      Reply

      • Rinceyouropinion

        June 7, 2013 at 12:14

        I know hey? Wtf kind of polyfiller crap was that article?

        Reply

      • Yobokkie

        June 7, 2013 at 14:55

        As above… and to clarify… not you, but rather that thing which sings for die antwoord. 😉

        Reply

        • Yolanda Green

          June 9, 2013 at 10:54

          haha Yeah, I figured as much 😀

          Reply

    • Goth_Nerd

      June 7, 2013 at 12:55

      hahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha

      Reply

    • Sageville

      June 7, 2013 at 13:07

      Sorry Yolanda, I did rofl.

      Reply

    • Paul Fouche

      June 10, 2013 at 15:32

      WHAAAHAHAA!! 😛

      Reply

  2. Umar Kiiroi Senk?

    June 7, 2013 at 11:22

    ……………………………………………………………………………….

    Reply

    • Lord Chaos

      June 7, 2013 at 11:28

      ^ This…

      Reply

  3. Ultimo_Cleric N7

    June 7, 2013 at 11:23

    Oh I can already see the “Degrading booth girls wearing no clothing” threads popping up again. Mark my words

    Reply

  4. RitterBruder

    June 7, 2013 at 11:24

    ohh that beard !! its…. stunning ! how do you grow that fungus though !!

    Reply

  5. Rinceyouropinion

    June 7, 2013 at 11:24

    bright blazer and neon cross body bag” WHAT!??!

    Reply

  6. Rinceyouropinion

    June 7, 2013 at 11:26

    What inept human wrote this article Gavin?

    Reply

  7. Umar Kiiroi Senk?

    June 7, 2013 at 11:37

    You should actually buy a whole lamb and wear it’s meat, then you can be like Gagatjie, If you find clothing to be important at E3

    Reply

  8. Theo Steenekamp

    June 7, 2013 at 11:46

    “written by a women” woman *
    Sorry I saw that, got shit grades on an English paper about feminism because I made that mistake like a 100 times.

    Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      June 7, 2013 at 12:04

      Gah my editor is off… so hard to spot your own mistakes

      Reply

      • Brady miaau

        June 7, 2013 at 16:14

        Always the way. two step process

        1. Admit you can make mistakes
        2. Fix them.

        in my world, most people get stuck on step 1

        Reply

    • Brady miaau

      June 7, 2013 at 16:14

      No, no it reads like it was written by women. Really.

      Reply

  9. Yolanda Green

    June 7, 2013 at 11:54

    What in the actual … I really have no problem with fashion tips and articles, but really?
    “Many women prefer to keep a low profile with “non booth babe” wear ” – like booth babes aren’t women?

    I’m sorry, have you ever seen women kick ass with cosplay at events like these?

    Is it wrong to be a booth babe? Is it wrong to dress sexy?

    Is it necessary to dress like a clown? Who’s going to take you seriously dressed like a toddler?

    Reply

    • Theo Steenekamp

      June 7, 2013 at 12:01

      Well if I don’t have a 3 year old nephew to take to E3… how am I going to attract girls?
      I’m going to pop on my hat with the propeller on it and find some girls.

      Reply

      • Yolanda Green

        June 7, 2013 at 12:10

        Master plan! Chicks dig hats.

        Reply

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        June 7, 2013 at 12:13

        Whahahahahahaha.

        Reply

    • Sageville

      June 7, 2013 at 13:03

      I dunno Yolanda, last time i dressed up like a booth babe at rAge I got alot of weird looks.

      Reply

      • Yolanda Green

        June 10, 2013 at 08:38

        pics or it didn’t happen!

        Reply

    • Johnnie Finn

      June 9, 2013 at 14:05

      Wow, you found a way to be offended, didn’t you?

      Misogyny = regarding women in any way.

      So many weak whiny females in the cellar of the internets.

      Reply

      • Yolanda Green

        June 10, 2013 at 08:05

        What are you talking about? You obviously don’t know me, nor have you read about my views on sexism in the industry. The only thing I was offended by was the bad quality of that article. Judging by your Disqus profile you just love commenting on articles with sexist undertones to put people down. Good job!

        Reply

        • Rinceyouropinion

          June 10, 2013 at 08:36

          Agreed, I was like, wtf?

          Reply

  10. Trevor Davies

    June 7, 2013 at 11:55

    I’m sorry Forbes, but I believe your fashion advise is so last season. You want to be taken seriously while wearing jeans & a t-shirt? PHU-LEASE! Are you a woman or are you a WHOA MAN OMG WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!

    Strong, confident women should not be afraid of being feminine. Show them you’re a gamer AND a woman! I would suggest pairing a nice pair of denims with some heeled ankle boots, or even a knee length skirt. Top that off with a nice blouse & a matching jacket and you’re good to go. And really, lanyards as accessories? What are you thinking? And NEON? This isn’t the set of Tron darling!

    Reply

    • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

      June 7, 2013 at 11:57

      lol ….. big time lol

      Reply

    • TechniKyle

      June 7, 2013 at 12:31

      No, just, no…

      Reply

  11. TechniKyle

    June 7, 2013 at 12:02

    I think I’ll wear heels to rAge in protest…

    Reply

    • Yolanda Green

      June 7, 2013 at 12:02

      I’m definitely wearing heels to rAge 😉

      Reply

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        June 7, 2013 at 12:12

        Madness! All that walking in heels? Hai nee man. Eina 0_o

        Reply

        • Yolanda Green

          June 7, 2013 at 12:17

          Llew, I’ve been wearing heels to rAge for the last 3 years 😛

          Reply

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            June 7, 2013 at 12:19

            Respect!

          • TechniKyle

            June 7, 2013 at 12:30

            When I am fit enough to do the Impie and later the Ironman, I’m going to do them in heels.

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            June 7, 2013 at 12:34

            Lol. Ironman in heels. What an image hahahaha

          • TechniKyle

            June 7, 2013 at 12:38

            What I realised while playing ME2, is that Miranda and Samara runs around everywhere with Shepard, but in heels.

          • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

            June 7, 2013 at 12:42

            lol 🙂

  12. Trebzz

    June 7, 2013 at 12:07

    A few members of Lazygamer have moobs so it can work 😛

    Reply

    • Trevor Davies

      June 7, 2013 at 12:15

      Someone needs a hug

      Reply

      • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

        June 7, 2013 at 12:16

        A squishy moob hug!

        Reply

      • Skyblue

        June 7, 2013 at 14:46

        Aaaah, Bob and his manboobs, awesome film

        Reply

  13. Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

    June 7, 2013 at 12:11

    What the duck!? Hahahaha. Journalizm hehehe. Well trolled Forbes. Well trolled.

    Reply

  14. Slade Boender

    June 7, 2013 at 12:16

    what the actual fuck.

    Reply

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      June 7, 2013 at 12:17

      Pretty much sums up every comment 🙂

      Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 7, 2013 at 12:17

      There you are, you’ve been rather quite this Friday!

      Reply

      • Slade Boender

        June 7, 2013 at 13:02

        ya not much going on, waiting for all the E3 goodness to hit my face 🙂

        Reply

  15. OVG

    June 7, 2013 at 12:21

    FRANCIS has breasts.

    Reply

  16. Admiral Chief Commander

    June 7, 2013 at 13:11

    Man, I’m missing so much news today… 🙁

    Reply

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