The XCOM 2 launch trailer will make you want to take back Earth

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Mars Attacks ... er... XCOM 2

XCOM 2 is out today, and no, I won’t be playing it. I just… I just can’t.

My decision stems from all the emotional trauma I endured in the first XCOM. I’ll never forget my first team of soldiers, and the hell they went through to try save earth…

They were great, really. Mark kept everybody alive from miles away, thanks to his trusty skill with a sniper rifle. Arjen, my support, made sure everybody was in top form on the field, always. Jan… boy did he have a way with shotguns. And then there was Jesse – a true legend in the face of the alien threat.

Arjen was the first to go. A bad call from the Commander (AKA ME) saw him meeting a particularly horrific end at the hands, erm, claws of an unexpected Chryssalid. He later became a zombie, and instead of fulfilling his role of support, he destroyed the entire squad.

I stomached it all, right up to the point when I lost Jesse. I’d watched this soldier grow from rookie to hero. Losing him was a blow I could never recover from! It was all my fault… all… my… fault…

That friends, is why I won’t be playing XCOM 2. I will not subject myself to that emotional rollercoaster again, at least not willingly. And no, not even some silly launch trailer will sway my decision…

Earth has changed. Twenty years have passed since world leaders offered an unconditional surrender to alien forces. XCOM, the planet’s last line of defense, was left decimated and scattered. Now, in XCOM 2, the aliens rule Earth, building shining cities that promise a brilliant future for humanity on the surface, while concealing a sinister agenda and eliminating all who dissent from their new order.

Shit, EARTH NEEDS ME! Brb putting a new squad together to kick some alien butt!

Last Updated: February 5, 2016

Matthew Figueira

Defence of the Ancients? More like Defence of the cabbages! Have you seen my head? I look like a Merino Sheep on pole. NO SHANGE only SHAPPIES! :D

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