Home Gaming The XCOM 2 launch trailer will make you want to take back Earth

The XCOM 2 launch trailer will make you want to take back Earth

1 min read
0

Mars Attacks ... er... XCOM 2

XCOM 2 is out today, and no, I won’t be playing it. I just… I just can’t.

My decision stems from all the emotional trauma I endured in the first XCOM. I’ll never forget my first team of soldiers, and the hell they went through to try save earth…

They were great, really. Mark kept everybody alive from miles away, thanks to his trusty skill with a sniper rifle. Arjen, my support, made sure everybody was in top form on the field, always. Jan… boy did he have a way with shotguns. And then there was Jesse – a true legend in the face of the alien threat.

Arjen was the first to go. A bad call from the Commander (AKA ME) saw him meeting a particularly horrific end at the hands, erm, claws of an unexpected Chryssalid. He later became a zombie, and instead of fulfilling his role of support, he destroyed the entire squad.

I stomached it all, right up to the point when I lost Jesse. I’d watched this soldier grow from rookie to hero. Losing him was a blow I could never recover from! It was all my fault… all… my… fault…

That friends, is why I won’t be playing XCOM 2. I will not subject myself to that emotional rollercoaster again, at least not willingly. And no, not even some silly launch trailer will sway my decision…

Earth has changed. Twenty years have passed since world leaders offered an unconditional surrender to alien forces. XCOM, the planet’s last line of defense, was left decimated and scattered. Now, in XCOM 2, the aliens rule Earth, building shining cities that promise a brilliant future for humanity on the surface, while concealing a sinister agenda and eliminating all who dissent from their new order.

Shit, EARTH NEEDS ME! Brb putting a new squad together to kick some alien butt!

Last Updated: February 5, 2016

No Comments

  1. That’s it.

    That

    is

    flippen

    IT

    *drops everything and goes home

    Reply

    • HairyEwok

      February 5, 2016 at 11:41

      Why are you commenting today on stories….. You should be locked away in a dark room with XCOM2 :/

      Reply

      • Commander Bob

        February 5, 2016 at 11:42

        Like many of us, the Admiral needs to work in order to support his XCOM habit.

        Reply

        • HairyEwok

          February 5, 2016 at 11:43

          And here I thought he was the boss….. XD

          Reply

          • Commander Bob

            February 5, 2016 at 11:44

            Not even in his own house 😛

          • Commander Admiral Chief

            February 5, 2016 at 12:01

            Lies

          • Commander Bob

            February 5, 2016 at 12:15

            I’m sure Mrs Chief will remind you who’s in charge over the weekend. Spoiler: It’s not you 🙂

          • Commander Admiral Chief

            February 5, 2016 at 13:40

            Spoiler, you are incorrect

          • Commander Admiral Chief

            February 5, 2016 at 12:03

            Geoff is the boss of Lagz.
            But he is my little bitch.
            My sexy, manly little bitch.

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:05

            O_o

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:06

            lulz, love to see his response…

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:08

            Maybe all you’ll see is that little “mod” tag next to Admiral’s name disappear.

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:08

            HAHA! I would laugh too much

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:13

            check it again…

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:16

            LOOOL

          • Geoffrey Tim

            February 5, 2016 at 12:20

            annnnnnd it’s gone. 🙂

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:34

            And this on an XCOM 2 article

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            February 5, 2016 at 12:41

            Bloody Agent!

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:20

            BWAHAHAH! LOOK AGAIN!

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:33

            No way!

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 13:00

            WAAAAY!

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:13

            hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:13

            Geoff sneaky ninja strike

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:21

            Dude, you look… NORMAL… Like the other peasants. What has happened?!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            February 5, 2016 at 12:22

            Sies. What if the children see?

          • Commander Admiral Chief

            February 5, 2016 at 13:40

            Finally, I can rest

      • RinceThis

        February 5, 2016 at 11:48

        damn straight he should! We need that review… HAHAHAH

        Reply

  2. Commander Admiral Chief

    February 5, 2016 at 11:37

    Hype level overload

    Reply

  3. Alien Emperor Trevor

    February 5, 2016 at 11:37

    If it really went that badly Matty there’s only one thing you can do to redeem yourself, lead from the front. WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY in front. By yourself. Off you go.

    Reply

    • hairyknees

      February 5, 2016 at 11:56

      I CHOOSE LIFE!

      Reply

  4. Hammersteyn

    February 5, 2016 at 11:43

    Reality shows, Kardashians, Bieber, Zuma, Malema, selfies, selfie sticks, duck faces, hipsters, EA… they can keep Earth thanks

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      February 5, 2016 at 11:45

      • Lardus-For the Emperor!

        February 5, 2016 at 11:49

        Brilliant!!

        Reply

  5. Lardus-For the Emperor!

    February 5, 2016 at 11:47

    Colleague downloaded the first 23GB for me!!! Just the last bit when I get home, and Terra will be SAVED!

    Reply

  6. Hargrim

    February 5, 2016 at 11:47

    I . . I want to save the earth, but I haven’t even lost it yet (Still busy with Enemy Within)

    Reply

  7. RinceThis

    February 5, 2016 at 11:49

    Man I want to play this. Wonder if my new PC will handle it.It runs on Vista, right?

    Reply

    • Captain JJ 'saurus

      February 5, 2016 at 11:50

      I think a few pc gamers out there just exploded spontaneously.

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        February 5, 2016 at 11:51

        IN LAUGHTER! #amirite

        Reply

        • Captain JJ 'saurus

          February 5, 2016 at 11:51

          LOL

          Reply

        • RinceThis

          February 5, 2016 at 11:59

          But it’s Vista SP3. That’s okay isn’t it? I have 512RAM too.

          Reply

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 11:59

            Jeez man. What are you running? An XBox One?

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:00

            hahahahahahahaha

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            February 5, 2016 at 11:59

            STAHP!

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:02

            It also has an onboard graphics card and on board soundcard so it’s quite compact and comes in at only 45kgs. It helps having a brother in IT, he knows his stuff!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            February 5, 2016 at 12:07

            So you’re saying JJ was right & you did buy an Xbox One?

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:08

            ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:09

            I don’t often get told I’m right by Rince (I’ve given up hope with you).
            I’ll take it!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            February 5, 2016 at 12:11

            I’d tell you you’re right if you agreed with me, but you never do. It’s not my fault you choose to be wrong all the time.

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:12

            I’ve agreed.
            Twice!
            XD

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            February 5, 2016 at 12:13

            I also never listen to people. You should know this.

          • Captain JJ 'saurus

            February 5, 2016 at 12:14

            LOL

          • RinceThis

            February 5, 2016 at 12:20

            Because!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            February 5, 2016 at 12:20

            YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

  8. Captain JJ 'saurus

    February 5, 2016 at 11:50

    Let’s just take a moment and recall that both Pierce Brosnan and Jack Black were in Mars Attacks.

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      February 5, 2016 at 11:53

      Also the centaur, Sarah Jessica Parker

      Reply

    • Jan Prins

      February 5, 2016 at 11:57

      And Jack Nicholson, if my decrepit old mind serves…

      Reply

      • Captain JJ 'saurus

        February 5, 2016 at 11:58

        Oh yea!
        Wow

        Reply

  9. Jan Prins

    February 5, 2016 at 11:57

    ” Jan… boy did he have a way with shotguns.”
    https://memecomiccentral.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/meme-face-2.jpg
    DID???

    Reply

    • hairyknees

      February 5, 2016 at 12:00

      RIP JAN! :'(

      Reply

  10. Johann

    February 5, 2016 at 13:29

    Mine is still downloading, only bit the bullet last night… more or less 12 hours of download to go

    Reply

  11. Andre116

    February 5, 2016 at 13:38

    That got me pumped up!

    Until my first squad dies…

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Check Also

Aliens: Fireteam devs reveal where the game fits into the wider Xenomorph universe

Aliens: Fireteam is shaping up nicely judging by the preview content that has been seen so…