I know we’re a pop culture website, but this is real news dammit. We’re powered by hopes and sugar, and our primary fuel source is none other than a delicious chocolate bar that can see us through a day. Everyone has their favourite: Tex is for the connosieurs, some people would happily snort a bump of Bar One given the chance and only lunatics would dare eat a Flake while in a car. The best of the lot though? Chocolate Log. For fifty years, Chocolate Logs have reigned supreme. They’re essentially what would happen if you coated clown blood in cocoa and wafers, a delicious treat from the heavens that has stood the test of time.
And their days are numbered.
Nestle, an organisation more evil than SPECTRE or COBRA due to their recent efforts to steal all the water in the world, has finally gone too far. According to Cape Town CT and spotted by Nick who’s a monster with no taste, Nestle considers Chocolate Log to be too old school to be cool for these hip and modern times. Per the Nestle South Africa Facebook page:
As Nestlé, our purpose is to delight our consumers through tastier and healthier products. We know that one of the main drivers of the chocolate category is innovation and that consumers love new products. Taking this into consideration, we do discontinue certain products and introduce new ones to the market.
This is an outrage, this is a crime. What’s next? Sweetie Pie? Five Star? I was fine with Lays killing off Salt and Vinegar chips because that stuff is rubbish, but Chocolate Log transcends time and space as the greatest confectionary of all time. And you thought 2020 couldn’t get any worse.
Last Updated: July 14, 2020