Home Opinion Midweek Mouth-off: Be a Development Hell Hero

Midweek Mouth-off: Be a Development Hell Hero

1 min read
29

This week’s topic of discussion comes courtesy of a Lotto-inspired Kervyn. If you had the money and power to get any movie made that has long been mired in Development Hell, stalled or even flat out cancelled, what would it be?

Personally, my fortune would be invested in making a live-action Wonder Woman film, done on an appropriately epic scale – complete with grand mythological battles and serious fidelity to the comic source material. It’s not fair that Diana hasn’t had a feature film centered on her by now… and we really need something “wonder”-ful to erase the world’s memory of that awful TV series pilot.

Alternatively, I would like to see a “proper” Catwoman film, focused on our femme fatale’s cat burglar exploits. I see it as a saucy Entrapment-style crime thriller, with plenty of rooftop free running, and a Batman cameo.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.

Last Updated: April 4, 2012

29 Comments

  1. Tracy Benson

    April 4, 2012 at 10:13

    I’d love to see the follow up to Unbreakable. It was supposed to be the “origin” story and there were supposed to be more movies where he actually learns how to do superhero-ey type things, but they shelved it. I would get a different director though, M. Night has run his course. 

    Reply

  2. James Francis

    April 4, 2012 at 10:26

    I’d get Tarantino or Tony Scott to remake Natural Born Killers. 

    Reply

  3. Wtf101

    April 4, 2012 at 10:57

    Skulduggery Pleasant.

    For those who do not know,its a series of youth novels by Derek Landy. 

    From the Skulduggery Pleasant website:

    He’s a wise-cracking detective, powerful magician,
    master of dirty tricks and burglary (in the name of the greater good, of
    course). And oh yeah, he is dead. (and a skeleton)

    Quote from one of the books:

    “I’m sorry, I don’t know what any of you want, or why guns and
    knives are being waved around, or why the girl has just been taken
    hostage, but everyone seems to be acting like having a TALKING SKELETON
    in the room is perfectly normal. And you, where are your eyes? How can
    you see? How come the only people with eyes in this room are me and
    her?”

     

    Reply

  4. Kervyn Cloete

    April 4, 2012 at 11:13

    Neil Blomkamp’s Halo movie. Based on what he ended up doing with District 9, we can only dream about what he could have done with the Master Chief’s story.

    I’d remake the Clash of the Titans remake 🙂 but this time without all the studio meddling.

    But most importantly, I’d wanna do Nottingham. It was an incredibly original take on the Robin Hood mythos told from the point of view of the Sheriff as he hunts down the terrorist Robin Hood.
    But then Ridley Scott came on-board, didn’t take to the script, and since he’s Ridley Scott and can pretty much do what he wants, proceeded to remove every single ounce of originality from it until we were left with his very lacklustre Robin Hood.

    Reply

    • James Francis

      April 4, 2012 at 12:06

      I heard that Scott wanted to do Nottingham, it was the focus groups and studios that sunk that idea.

      Anyway, I second Nottingham. Wasn’t Christian Bale supposed to play the sheriff in that?

      Reply

      • Kervyn Cloete

        April 4, 2012 at 12:18

        Slashfilm did a followup not too long back where they spoke directly to Scott who said that he didn’t like the script, calling it a “day one rewrite”. Which is weird, because the reason everybody in Hollywood was getting excited about the project was exactly because of the script.

        But when you’re Ridley Scott, you can just do whatever the hell you want. He did the same thing on Blade Runner, and while that movie turned out great, the original idea could have been better. But we’ll never know coz Scott threw his weight around to get everything done his way, every other idea be damned.

        Now don’t get me wrong, I have a tremendous love affair with the man’s films, but I think he’s a douche.

        And yes, Bale was attached to the role of the Sheriff.

        Reply

        • James Francis

          April 4, 2012 at 12:58

          Apparently Harrison Ford refuses to do another movie with him.

          Reply

  5. John Richter

    April 4, 2012 at 12:36

    Global Frequency: we’ve established Warren Ellis makes AWESOME movies with RED, and Global Frequency has been on-again off-again as either a series or a movie for *ages*.

    Reply

    • James Francis

      April 4, 2012 at 12:59

      You mean the RED where all the good bits were in the trailer?

      Reply

      • John Richter

        April 4, 2012 at 14:48

        Except for the bit with the getting out of the car. And Helen Mirren shoouting the minigun. And the opening scene of action in suburbia. And the bullets in the frying pan. And…

        Reply

        • Gavin Mannion

          April 4, 2012 at 14:59

          I saw that getting out of the car bit on a bollywood movie first though…. the rest of RED was awesome. Loved the minigun

          Reply

        • James Francis

          April 4, 2012 at 17:51

          Both the mini gun and the stepping out of the car were in the trailer. So was the action in suburbia scene, including the gun looking around the corner. So were all the jokes, including Mirren’s rather awful ‘ironic’ “I kill people, dear.” Ditto for most of Malkovich’s ‘crazy’ lines. 

          Reply

          • John Richter

            April 5, 2012 at 09:07

            Clearly you care about this deeply. I hope any subsequent sequels (there is one in the making, apparently) result in greater happiness for you 🙂

          • James Francis

            April 5, 2012 at 09:30

            It was a lazy-ass adaptation. Even Karl Urban looked more disappointed than usual. And, yeah, I did care deeply. I like Ellis’ material. But if a studio does such a lame job with RED, I want them to stay far away from Transmetropolitan, not to mention Ennis’ stuff like The Boys and Preacher. 

  6. Gavin Mannion

    April 4, 2012 at 14:34

    I haven’t seen any good comedies recently so if I had the cash I’d like to make a new Police Academy in the same vein as the old ones.

    Stupid brainless fun FTW

    Reply

  7. James Francis

    April 4, 2012 at 17:56

    Bravestarr. I’d make a Bravestarr live-action movie.

    Reply

    • Noelle Adams

      April 4, 2012 at 18:02

       Good, we can fund it together because it’s the only 80s cartoon I really want to see given a live-action treatment.

      Reply

      • James Francis

        April 4, 2012 at 21:08

        They can just adapt the original movie, but with more explosions. Also, mute the mole thing, whatever he was. 

        Reply

        • Wtf101

          April 5, 2012 at 10:41

           You referring to Deputy Fuzz by any chance?  How can it be Bravestarr without Fuzz going “Marshall Bwavestaahhh??”

          Reply

          • James Francis

            April 5, 2012 at 12:23

            As long as he does it from over there where we can’t see much of him. I’m paying to see 3030, how Tex Hex turns out and the finale with Rampage.

          • Wtf101

            April 5, 2012 at 14:00

            Come on, you cannot tell me that you didn’t find it hilarious at the end of the movie when Bravestarr tossed him his deputy badge.  I would love to see that…

      • Wtf101

        April 5, 2012 at 10:47

         But why?  There are some awesome 80’s cartoons that I would love to see made live action:

        Filmation’s Ghostbusters, for a start.

        A genius gorilla, The Ghostbuggy, Brat-a-Rat.  Prime-Evil… 

        Reply

        • James Francis

          April 5, 2012 at 12:25

          Apparently that was spun off from a live-action show in the Seventies. Bravestarr, though, had a pretty decent pilot movie. Can’t say that much for the rest of Filmation’s stuff, no matter how awesome they were (try get a hold of Space Sentinels). Also, the Ghostbusters’ guns were kinda silly :p.

          Reply

          • Wtf101

            April 5, 2012 at 14:05

             Yeah, kinda silly was what they were aiming for me thinks.  I dunno why.  Maybe it is the gorilla smart enough to drive and fix the dematerialiser.  Or maybe the wisecracking Ghostbuggy.  Or the fact that the leader was called Jake Kong, and not the gorilla. 

        • Kervyn Cloete

          April 5, 2012 at 12:35

          Thanks, now I have the theme song stuck in my head.

          Share my pain:

          Reply

  8. Noelle Adams

    April 4, 2012 at 18:03

    Actually, I would also devote my fortune to stopping a Y: The Last Man film and instead have it made as a TV series/mini-series.

    Reply

    • Justin Hess

      April 4, 2012 at 18:32

      I don’t get why they want to make it into a film when the nature of the comic’s serial format is basically screaming for a four or five season tv series

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Also

Midweek Movie Mouth-Off: your most underrated TV series

Weigh in post-Emmys. What TV series deserves more awards love than it gets? …