Superfast

Here at The Movies we enjoy bringing you guys the lowdown on the latest films out there. Except when we don’t. This is one of those times, and it’s all thanks to Superfast!, the latest “parody” film – and I use the term “film” very lightly here – from Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, the dud-namic duo behind such crimes against humanity as Meet The Spartans, Epic Movie, The Starving Games and more. Unfortunately, Seltzer and Friedberg have not yet run out of the blackmail material they’re holding over Hollywood (the only logical explanation) that has forced studios to continue giving them money to make more movies.

So in a year where we have arguably the best entry in the Fast & Furious franchise being released – an utterly enjoyable and surprisingly emotional swan song for much beloved star Paul Walker – Aaron and Friedberg of course have decided to lampoon the multi-billion dollar series. And now we have to review it. So here it goes.

[PLEASE NOTE: Because there are only so many entries in the thesaurus for “Dear gods in heaven, why?!” and this is a PG site, I will have to employ some animated gifs to fully express myself when I run out of appropriate words].

Superfast! is a

Well at least it’s…um, hang on…

Superfast! stars a who’s who’s available of actors who really…

I’m never getting those 90 minutes of my life back am I?

I sat through this entire damn flick, and each “joke” was more telegraphed than a Floyd Mayweather hug. Superfast! is more…No, screw that. I’m not wasting a good joke on a 90 minute bad joke of a movie. Don’t see it.

Save yourselves the heartache. Save yourselves the pain. Take it from the guy who considers Freddy Got Fingered to be a comedy masterpiece that was ahead of its time: Superfast is so bad, it makes previous Meet The Spartans look like an Oscar contender in comparison. Superfast is a hate crime on two wheels, with all of its animosity targeted at a genre that was once the domain of side-splitting comedy.

Superfast is so bad, it defies logic. Whatever you do, avoid it. This movie doesn’t live life a quarter of a mile at a time. It shits all over it in one embarrassingly terrible go-faster stripe of pure excrement.

 

 

Last Updated: May 6, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

Word-slinger at Critical Hit. Inventor of the macho Swiss gym chocolate known as Testoblerone. That's...that's about it really.

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