Lazygamer.net is growing and as such you people expect more from us…but the advertisers refuse to pay more, which means only one thing.. We are hiring a totally unpaid intern for a 6 month stint that will hopefully end with a job, or maybe not.
Apparently with postings like this we need to go through all the benefits and then sucker punch you with the crap side of the position.
So here we go, it’s unpaid. We may give you a t-shirt. You need to pay for your own Internet access and we are annoyingly demanding about most things.
Wait I did that wrong didn’t I?
Gamescom 2014
Gamescom 2014, in Cologne Germany, is on the horizon and we desperately need someone to hold a camera and point it at our pretty faces, check the sound quality and wave your hand like a professional so the developers think we rock.
That’s the prize really. We will cover your flights, accommodation and bare basics of food and water for Gamescom 2014 which happens in the second week of August this year. To be eligible we need you to be over 21 years old (or prove your maturity and be over 18), you need two hands to hold camera and be physically able as a convention week is way more taxing on both your body and mind than you think.
You need to know about video games. No we don’t need some expert who thinks they are the greatest gift to the industry; If you can pew pew pew in Call of Duty that’s enough to be considered.
You need to know how to write. We are going to expect articles and reviews from you in the run up to the convention and in the post close-out. Just because you write better than me proves nothing; you need to really know how to write. I got a freebie on that one.
You need to be based in Gauteng OR be willing to cover your travel expenses from whatever backwater you live in to O.R. Thambo. And yes Cape Town is a backwater, we all know that. Those are the bare necessities you require to apply for the position.
Extra Requirements
If you want a better chance of winning then these are the things we’d love to see
- Video Editing Skills (proof please)
- YouTube knowledge
- Amazing camera face and personality
- True story-writing abilities
- Industry Contacts
- Passion
- EU or US passport or visa. Not required but definitely helps regarding costs and timing
- A thick skin. No whining about feelings in this job. Our job is to offend you, your religion, your beliefs and your family.
So that’s it, if you are interested and think you can bring something worthwhile to the group please drop an email to gamescom@lazygamer.net with some or all of the following.
Application Requirements
- Video you recorded and edited
- A video game review, of any game.
- A video game news article
- Video of yourself ONLY if you are interested in being in front of the camera
- Something that makes your application pop. Seriously, use your imagination
If chosen you will be expected to provide at least 5 articles orvideos a week in the run-up to Gamescom to convince us that you are committed and won’t flake on us at the last minute. Oh and you need a press pass so you need to be press, which means actually writing and contributing.
If you’re more of an Internet warrior then please feel free to leave a comment demanding what skills the Intern must have and how they need to be initiated.
Last Updated: June 18, 2014
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 11:32
More importantly, will I get to pick my own girl’s name or will it be assigned to me?
Rince&exhale
June 18, 2014 at 11:41
I fear they already have it…
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
Trevina?
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
Yet another bearded lady
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
Brenda, no wait that’s taken
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:14
I’m not afraid. I am secure in my manhood, I wear Old Spice.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:21
Bearded and wearing Old Spice.
That’s how it’s done.
Rince&exhale
June 18, 2014 at 12:33
How appropriate 🙂
Sageville
June 18, 2014 at 12:56
Horse or it never happened
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 11:46
Uh, I thought you were Tiny Tina?
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:47
Tiny?
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 11:51
Is it because my badonkadonks bring all the boys to the yard?
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:51
You calling them badonkadonks is concerning. 😉
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:49
I unfortunately already have one.
Luckily it’s stuff of legends.
Sageville
June 18, 2014 at 13:07
I think “Agnus” is pushing ahead in the polls
Gavin Mannion
June 18, 2014 at 13:45
Girl’s names will be assigned by the existing staff Tina
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:33
Amazing camera face. So Trevor is out then?
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 11:34
Reverse-winning.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:40
Well you have got that going for you, which is nice
Mark Treloar
June 18, 2014 at 18:08
Reverse? So that back of your head is prettier than the front?
Sk3tz0
June 18, 2014 at 11:34
Haters gonna hate Cape Town
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 11:35
Ahh Intern, the cheap laborers of society. Work for free for that sweet little bit of experience. I remember being an intern. Man, 2 minute noodles for lunch every day
Tarisma
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
Luxury!!! When I was an intern we couldn’t afford 2 minute noodles we had to eat dirt!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:47
BAH, dirt! BAH
STALE AIR!
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 11:55
LOL….Shame man! I feel that pain. The smell of a permanent position…fades away after your contract ends
Sageville
June 18, 2014 at 13:09
Dirt? I wish we were rich enough to afford dirt! Sheesh, kids today!
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:36
Backwater. Pah!
We don’t want your job anyway! We’ll make our own site, with blackjack and hookers!
Cat
June 18, 2014 at 14:46
Sign me up!!… I mean, how disturbing, That’s just appalling. blackjack and hookers but No Rum?
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 15:49
Rum can be arranged!
Cat
June 18, 2014 at 17:28
*Starts looking for job opening in the Hippy city online*
Anyone have any opening in accounts & I will book my ticket..
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 11:37
The republic of Cape Town never gets love! 🙁
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:38
I don’t mind. Fewer people here means fewer problems. 😉
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:38
We love you as much as we love stepping on a 4x block of Lego with bare feet in the middle of Winter
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:41
Masochist!
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:42
If he is then he will have a blast with the Watchdogs drinking mini games.
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:40
Yeah people in Cape Town have it bad, you never ever catch a break unlike people that do live in either Joburg or Pretoria. Because these are the only three cities in out country that matters 😛
Willem Van Wyk
June 18, 2014 at 11:42
Doesn’t matter, we still have beaches and bitches, no offence, but JHB woman quality is lacking…
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
Hahahaha
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
Janee JHB women…nee dankie.
Snor City ladies….mmmmmmmmmmm
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
lol
ToshZA
June 18, 2014 at 19:01
One jhb woman has the IQ of all the Snortoria ladies combined.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 11:43
The problems only start when you try to move between Joburg & Pretoria right? 😉
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:44
Like a Rock and a Hard Place?
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:09
E-tolls 😉
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:13
I ain’t paying that jazz
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:44
@Admiral_Chief:disqus can best describe that for you
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:46
Kakkest thing to do, luckily I’m doing it halfway
Rince&exhale
June 18, 2014 at 11:41
Alas, this is true. It also never gets any Nana love at events a particular Rince arranges 🙁
Weanerdog
June 18, 2014 at 14:07
When is the next Rince, I mean Lagz, event in CT.
Rince&exhale
June 18, 2014 at 14:13
Was actually discussing this with Trevor on Monday. Maybe end of month?
Weanerdog
June 18, 2014 at 14:43
End of the month you say. I might be able to squeeze that into my calender.
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:37
And here I thought you just sit and play games all day 😛
Rince&exhale
June 18, 2014 at 11:42
They do. But the game is ‘can you unhook yourself from the fishing line we have stuck in you…
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:38
Who want’s to be Darryns tea boy anyway
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 11:39
Imagine that… Darryn ordering you around. Wow!
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:39
Probably have to wax his legs too.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:40
Only his legs?
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:41
For E3 it was pretty smooth, the way he displayed it on the coffee table.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:40
Meh, not a lot of hair to start off with…
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 11:55
Darryn forcing you to rub his smooth legs
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:56
*Vomits a bit
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:57
*scrapes vomit up and puts on toast. Crunchy
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 11:57
FUUUUUUUU
Admiral Avo Clone
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 11:59
Oh god please no.
We need to get the Avo back before his absence corrupts someone or even worse everyone!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:00
Wow, @hammersteyn:disqus had muesli with raisins for breakfast, nomnoms
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 12:00
That was the single worse thing I’ve ever read on this site
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:01
WINNER
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:01
*worst
Or WURST if German, amirite?
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 12:02
Ahh phooey
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:03
Not really into the phooey things. 2girls1cup?
The D
June 18, 2014 at 12:05
Ha, smooth legs. That’s rich. Ha hahahahaha.
UnholyMunk
June 18, 2014 at 12:06
Richer than what that intern will be 😉
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 12:13
We all saw the videos. Those Nivea beast of legs you got there will bring all the girls to the yard
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:13
Nivea ROFL!!!!!
VampyreSquirrel
June 18, 2014 at 12:25
Girls ROFL!!!!!
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 18, 2014 at 12:14
That before or after he forces you to wear a green speedo and tight red shirt and calls you Robin.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:39
I’ll apply TO FIX THE DAMN SPELLING MISTAKES IN YOUR ARTICLES
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:39
Eish. Careful now
Rince&exhale
June 18, 2014 at 15:34
0-O
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 11:40
For a laugh, I’m going to apply. Ho ho ho!
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:40
I think it is they who will be laughing. 😉
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 12:25
HAHAHAHA, I think you might be right!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:41
You ALREADY have a job running around like a mad banana in my imagination!
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:46
Well you’ve already written a articles for LG
Weanerdog
June 18, 2014 at 14:08
Well your reputation to actually pitch at events might count against you.
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 19, 2014 at 10:13
Oh YOU!!! 😛
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 11:44
This does not look like a backwater place to me!!! Eat your heart out bliksems!!!
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 11:50
In comparison… a typical building in Johannesburg.
cough cough!
http://totallycoolpix.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09012011_chernobyl_2010/chernobyl_24.jpg
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:50
Is that where the Admiral went to school? That would explain a lot.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:52
I was born and raised in SNORTORIA
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 11:53
Nothing wrong with Pretoria!! It is that JHB place with the never strait roads that gets me!! Joburg makes a GPS wrong, all the time!!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:54
JHB is like CoD, some people love it for some really odd stupid reason. But the rest of us know better.
SnorToria FO LIFE YO
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 11:56
Lived in Pretoria for 6 year, 3 year studying at Tuks and 3 for work. I lived in the block next to the Square in Hatfield for 3 years… Man that was some good times right there!!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:56
Back in the day when the square was still fun yeah
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 11:57
We are about the same age so we knew it when it was at it’s prime!! The amount of money I used there in the 3 years…. I probably help buy flat screens for every one of those watering holes!!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:02
Also true, but then again, dop was cheeeep back then. R3 beers and all
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 12:05
I loved the buy one get on free brandy special in my first year. R10 for one and get on free!! Man I “watched” a lot of rugby back then!!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:10
And I really don’t doubt it for a second that we had a dop together one crazy night or another.
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 12:12
Very much possible, I was there 3-4 times a week!! How I passed my degree only the big guy knows!!
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:55
Oh yes. You see, you have to excuse me. How we see it here in Cape Town… (refresh for pic)
CAE9872
June 18, 2014 at 12:13
Yeah baby!!!
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 12:15
Yeah baby, you never cross those mountains, because there be cannibals, giants, tigers and lions beyond Worcester… (MORDOR IS JOHANNESBURG)
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:16
At least we have magical rings and world domination.
Norm
June 24, 2014 at 15:59
The mountain = Cape Town’s ‘THE WALL’.
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 11:53
This is where you get the Gautrain
http://totallycoolpix.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09012011_chernobyl_2010/chernobyl_30.jpg
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:53
They didn’t even bother to change the language on the second hand signs they bought, damn those contractors.
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 11:54
It is a brother of some or other ANC big wig who got the contract!! He can’t read so just thought it would be OK!!
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:56
XD
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 11:54
Looks more like the train stations from Cape Town.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:44
HAI, U PAY MEEE FIVE DORRARS?
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:44
Hai!
Brenz
June 18, 2014 at 11:44
Cape Town Haters!
You just jealous of our mountain and beaches and bars and woman and the DA, and I could go on but I dont like to brag.
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 11:45
Cape Town is too laid back, they built the mountain half way and called it a day 😛
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 11:47
XDXDXDXDXDXD
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:47
And us Capetownians think you people are all too mad. Chill man. Sit down. Have some wine. Relax. It’s all good.
Mossel
June 18, 2014 at 12:47
Seriously why does everyone rush? – He said sipping his coffee searching for a fuck to give at the amount of emails streaming in.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:48
Haha. My SUPER URGENT report was just moved ahead two days because they said they can wait a bit.
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:51
“We need this project completed as soon as possible. It’s incredibly urgent!”
Takes everyone off the team except the developer with less than 1 year of experience.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:52
Haha. Oh man. That sucks
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:54
It gets even better, I might leave once I get my 1 year experience. In a few months time.
Then no one will be left on this project.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:55
Well, if there’s something better out there, they can’t blame you.
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 11:47
Hahahaha!!! Stop it you would have loved your own half built mountain!!!
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 12:00
Nope ours is fully built 🙂
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d6/Outeniqua_pano.jpg/500px-Outeniqua_pano.jpg
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:01
Woohoo
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 12:03
I grew up at the point of Blouberg in Limpopo and my school was at the point of Soutpansberg in a small town called Vivo!! You can tell me nothing about beautiful mountains!!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:04
DUUUUUUUUUDE, I know Vivo!
It has been MANY years since I last heard someone talk about it!!!
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 12:06
I grew up there, our farm was 20km away!! My schooling happened mostly there!! Such a cool place to grow up…. I drove bakkie from the age of 7, and then I went to other farms with it from 12!! Hahaha
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:08
My godparents had a farm on the way to Alldays. We stopped at Vivo for the view and the wors
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 12:10
My father owned the left side of the road coming in from Pietersburg. So chances are you filled up at our garage and bought wors at our butchery!! Small world ne?!?!?
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:12
Indeed, geez!!!
CAE9872
June 18, 2014 at 12:15
Tsk tsk – where the hell was health and safety – driving at 7!!!
Willem Van Wyk
June 18, 2014 at 12:31
I started driving at 7, still a better driver than most taxi drivers
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:02
They’ve got tons of them…
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 11:49
lulz
Mossel
June 18, 2014 at 12:46
Hahahaha!!!
Actually it took about 400million years, at least we attempted it, you guys were just like: fuck it, let’s put this gold stuff in the ground and kick some sand over it.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 11:46
I’m not going to stop you from bragging. Lots to brag about 😉
Gavin Mannion
June 18, 2014 at 13:42
keep the DA, bars and Mountain… actually our woman are hotter as well.. keep it all
ToshZA
June 18, 2014 at 18:56
Just 1 woman? You need to get out more Gav.
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 11:52
Sounds like a better job than my current one, even with the insults and no pay.
Pity I can’t write.
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 11:59
Can I get a template to write the reviews with??? Or maybe an Excel spread sheet???
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 11:59
Go to kotaku. Copy and paste. Done. Oh wait this is not that OTHER site. 😛
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 12:01
O_o
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 12:08
Hahahaha!!!
Gavin Mannion
June 18, 2014 at 13:41
we have no review templates… the scoring can be found on any review but the rest is laid out as you see fit
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 13:48
I was giving you shit!! Hahaha, but glad you fell for it!! Should have put sarcasm in “………” I guess!! The internet makes me more happy than it should!!
derp
June 18, 2014 at 12:01
Video Editing Skills (proof please)
YouTube knowledge
Amazing camera face and personality
True story-writing abilities
Industry Contacts
Passion
EU or US passport or visa. Not required but definitely helps regarding costs and timing
Sounds like a job for PewDiePie
**runs**
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:03
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hammersteyn
June 18, 2014 at 12:03
Oh snap
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:05
LOL
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:07
We know he has passion too, just not always reciprocated 😉
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 12:43
Comment of the month! 😀
Gavin Mannion
June 18, 2014 at 13:41
Right in the feels :)…
Ask him to apply, we’ll teach him how to talk properly
Rince&exhale
June 18, 2014 at 15:37
WIN
Thats_how_I_Troll
June 18, 2014 at 12:02
I have such a great idea for applying, its so obvious yet brilliant. But I cannot apply….
Viking Of Science
June 18, 2014 at 12:03
Gawd, If Only I wasn’t wasting my time at a Job I’m good at, but not fond of…
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 12:05
I’ll add some goat blood to my application. Hope that’ll make it pop
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:07
You’ll need to have it form some kind of sigil.
I suggest one of the Bat logos as you’ll instantly win Darryn’s approval.
http://jonathanrobertson.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Bat-Logos.gif
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:08
You might just give Darryn a batsplosion in the batpants
Monado
June 18, 2014 at 12:11
Batman logo,Liverpool Logo, Mario Bros 3 logo, Civilization logo….Instant hire
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:14
Exactly.
I couldn’t remember what it was for Gavin and wasn’t sure what Zoe would prefer. I had no idea for Geoff though.
Bianca
June 18, 2014 at 12:09
I reall want to apply. When I read “hold a camera” I got too excited, but then I read the over 21 rule. I just doubt my writing abilities, there are quite a lot of people who are much better at it than me and that have experience. It would’ve been cool to be on the same team as Zoe.
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 12:11
So apply, the rule of over 21 is just to make sure that the person is mature. You might be a mature 18 year old or whatever your age!!
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:15
Mature?
On this site?
CAE9872
June 18, 2014 at 12:17
Snap! That’s what I thought!
CAE9872
June 18, 2014 at 12:17
Well the rest of you obviously
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:12
I think Lagz needs another ladyperson amongst their ranks. They already have Zoe and Darryn, so a healthy trio could balance out Geoff’s manly manlinessness
Bianca
June 18, 2014 at 12:17
I wanted to add Darryn but he’s a bit sensitive and I’m scared making him cry will reduce my chances. Actually it’ll increase it.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:24
Messing with Darryn. You have my vote already.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:29
AND MY AXE!!!
…wait, what are we talking about?
Willem Van Wyk
June 18, 2014 at 12:32
Well played
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:33
😉
Willem Van Wyk
June 18, 2014 at 12:35
Ridiculous thing to ask, but I can’t intern with you while having a full time job? I have some writing experience, I write for a dota 2 blog, but I love my full-time PHP development job.
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:39
Well the main reason for this intern position seems to be the Gamescon trip.
As someone already working full-time I assume you’d be unable to go on that trip.
Willem Van Wyk
June 18, 2014 at 12:44
Theoretically I can take time off? the trip isn’t the big thing for me either, I want to learn to write better and actually reach an audience, the DotA 2 blog I write for barely reaches 15 people.
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 12:27
The three’s company intro just popped into my head. Thanks for that.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:29
Thanks, now in mine as well….ugh
Her Highness the Hipster
June 18, 2014 at 12:16
apply anyway – the age thing is just a guideline for maturity. 🙂 also, it would be rad to be on the same team!
CAE9872
June 18, 2014 at 12:18
My wife says I am 5 going on 6 – and at 41 that is something! So how do you measure maturity then…huh…huh???
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:18
With a klei-lat!
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:20
More mature than the average LG staff member.
Basically more mature than 14 years old.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:21
If that’s the guideline for maturity you should push it up to over 35 AT LEAST.
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:23
For some reason I’ve been reading that as “apple anyway”.
And I reread it 3 times before getting it right.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:24
Same here. I blame the hipster
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:23
Apply.
Maturity goes out the door once Rince arrives anyway. Luckily he’s not here yet.
Gavin Mannion
June 18, 2014 at 13:40
Like they all said.. 21 is a guideline.. 18 is set in stone though for legal reasons
Jonah Cash
June 20, 2014 at 12:47
The legal age is actually 16 Gavin….. Hahahahaha
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 12:23
But seriously though, I think this is an excellent opportunity for a young gamer (fresh out of high school or varsity – or stuck in a gap year or unsure what to do with their degree), to not only get a feel for how the gaming media works but also to be exposed to the gaming industry on an international level.
Sadly, I’m too old and crusty for this shit (gah if only I was 10 – 15 years younger, I would have pounced on this and bothered the Lagz bosses till they sent me to Germany).
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:26
Now. To apply as Cleo, or JJ.
VampyreSquirrel
June 18, 2014 at 12:27
Cleo!
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:28
Hey dude. Have I been a bit deurikak or has it been a while since I’ve seen you here?
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:29
Former, not latter
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:29
Always can rely on you. Thanks. 😉
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:30
Don’t forget your homework before tomorrow!!!!!!!!
…..19th……
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:31
Oh. Yes yes.
Feels like my initiation when I first started here.
Stressed more about that freaking test than any exam I ever had at school
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:31
Hahaha, the intern must pass the initiation test!
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 12:35
If he or she survives the taunting fire of the community… they may become… an intern!
Muahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha
VampyreSquirrel
June 18, 2014 at 13:38
It’s just been a while since I’ve commented on one of your posts lol
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:27
I demand that the intern plays more than CoD.
Either that or for the initiation he or she must play and complete 5 games, each chosen from different genres.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:29
And none of them can be Fable.
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 12:31
Survivor Challenge. Drop him on the pristine beaches of ZA15 DayZ Epoch and time his survival. Over 5 mins = Immediate hire. Ill make sure to patroll the coasts.
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:32
Heh, blerrie DayZ slut you!
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 12:33
Yeah I got so comfy that the other night I landed on the coast in a Cessna and started watching a movie on my other screen. Needless to say I died fairly soon afterwords.
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 12:30
I hope COD is used as a dis-qualifier; if you apply and say “Ya bro, like I’m like a Call of Duty expert. BRO FIST ME BRO! FIST ME BRO!!”, you’re instantly rejected. Similarly, if you say Fable is the best RPG ever created, your application is set alight…
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:30
Hear hear!
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:31
Won’t seem legit if he doesn’t diss someone’s mother.
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 18, 2014 at 12:32
“Ya Bro! I was teabagging this newb like I teabagged your mother.. FIST ME BRO! FIST ME! CALL OF DUTY BRO! GAME OF THE DECADE BRO!”
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:32
DECADE????????????????????
Kensei Seraph
June 18, 2014 at 12:33
That’s what the initiation is for.
They play Dragon Age: Origins (with or without mods?), Quake 3, Civ 5, … I’m not sure what the last 2 games should be.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:34
One should be Alien Colonial Marines.
If they like it, they’re disqualified.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:36
And TLOU on PC as a test. If they look for it they’re instantly disqualified.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:36
Wow. I was like TLOU on PC? What the hell are you on about? LOL
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:37
DISQUALIFIED.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:40
I didn’t look for it. I questioned your sanity. That’s perfectly fair. Can’t disqualify me for that.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 12:48
I just wanted to shout it at someone. I couldn’t do that in the office because then I’d look crazy.
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 12:36
Or they should play a launch day EA title. If they get in on the first hour they get hired.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:37
So what you’re saying is that they can’t hire someone new?
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 12:38
I’m sure an EA game will be launched soon. I think FIFA is coming like next week or something or was that UFC. Hell not sure … it is EA and I only care about Bioware.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:39
Haha. Nice.
I have been free from buying an EA game for about a year now.
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 12:41
Till the Dragon Age cometh!
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:42
Will see how strong I am.
Luckily not a huge follower of Dragon Age, but I’ve been known to break under Steam Sale pressure.
Kromas
June 18, 2014 at 12:47
Speaking of steam sale pressure and breaking. I present the following week as a video.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:50
I’ve already prepared my family, pet and girlfriend for my absence.
Alex Hicks
June 18, 2014 at 12:47
That’s too difficult a gate – you want to whittle out the bad; not eliminate every single applicant. NOBODY PLAYS AN EA TITLE TILL EA DECIDE THEY DO!!!
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 12:41
Wow, 182 comments already!!!
Alex Hicks
June 18, 2014 at 12:41
I’d love to get into the industry; but at 37 I’m too old; I have a face for radio; and a voice for newspapers. I can write, somewhere slightly above the level of a 5 year old; and probably wouldn’t manage to keep up with Gavin’s drinking because I can only drink whisky in any kind of quantity without falling over (I blame the Scottish blood).
However, for making it pop I would apply in LFC red; with my scarves, shirt, cap (bought in Anfield) and the match badge (bought on the street on the way to Anfield) AND NOTHING ELSE (because I don’t have LFC shorts or pants) …
If the first paragraph didn’t disqualify me; the second certainly did.
Sith JJ
June 18, 2014 at 12:43
LOL
Gavin Mannion
June 18, 2014 at 13:37
Zoe is wating for that application
Alex Hicks
June 18, 2014 at 14:01
I hate to leave a lady waiting – but I will. If I did apply I’d just leave her feeling all distracted, and leave the rest of the gang feeling jealous and inadequate.
Also, I’m worried that Darryn might get the wrong idea. I grew up in PE – I worry about those guys …
MakeItLegal
June 18, 2014 at 13:00
these are the moments….
Dammit , schucks …. might aswell try
Jonah Cash
June 18, 2014 at 13:00
Go for it!!
MakeItLegal
June 18, 2014 at 13:37
o/
Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!
June 18, 2014 at 13:59
Makes it pop? I’m not sure I am comfortable making anything pop on video hey….
Admiral Chief Cyber Commando
June 18, 2014 at 14:15
Ag nee man gross LC
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 18, 2014 at 14:22
Because once you pop you can’t stop? O_O
Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!
June 18, 2014 at 14:24
That’s what she said….
John Van Rensburg
June 18, 2014 at 16:20
“Cape Town is a backwater”
thats upcountry jealousy talking right there
Brendyn Zachary
June 18, 2014 at 16:21
I demand a trial by fart inhalation!
Pieter Smal
June 19, 2014 at 10:39
I have charm, personality… and I will be there! 😀 In Europe in August 😀