There are some films that you should never take a first date to. And that’s something I learnt the hard way when I bought tickets for The Human Centipede, thinking that I was going to go see a cool nature documentary. The first movie starring the awesomely-named Dieter Laser was pretty gross. The second, even worse. And the third? Well, …

I honestly don’t care if you’re Muhammed I’m ‘ard Bruce Lee, because no one can watch The Human Centipede films and not walk away from them mentally scarred. Haven’t seen ’em? Well here’s a brief synopsis: A mad scientist creates a human centipede  that consists of people being sewed butt to mouth to each other. The first film had a human …

I like to think that I can handle any manner of nasty film or horror genre thrown at me, but the Human Centipede duo of gross-out movies happens to be one of those rare occurrences where I had to keep a standby bucket next to me. The first film was purely gonzo madness with a dash of cult, while the second took …

Ok, before you read any further, put your food and drinks away. Maybe keep a bucket nearby, and cover your monitor with some plastic, because a third Human Centipede film is on the way an- Dammit, not on me, in the bucket! Having threatened humanity for quite a while now, director Tom Six has finally gone through with his promises, …