Conspiracy Theory – There's more than one Bond

2 min read
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Bond. James Bond. He’s been knocking heads and banging his way throughout history since 1962, foiling schemes ranging from communism-based super-weapons through to new age Illuminati quests for world domination. The man has been around, is what I’m saying.

But here’s the rub. Barring the recent Daniel Craig films, each installment in the Bond franchise is seen as chronological canon. That means that Bond did indeed fight his way from the cold war through to whatever shenanigans were present in Die another day. So how the hell has he maintained his youthful vigor and ability to belt out one-liners at the right moment? The Hugh Hefner diet? Nope, it’s a far more simple explanation. Because there’s more than one Bond.

So what if James Bond was not a person, but a code-name? An identity used for elite agents as each predecessor retires or is killed in action? In a way, it makes sense. Just look at Q, M and Felix Leiter, possibly the american alternative of that idea.

That could explain why Bond is always in his prime (Most of the time, anyway). Or why his personality changes so much between agents. Look at the facts. Sean Connery was a hard man with little class and less patience for any threats to the UK, while Roger Moore was a suaver operative with a campy nature for gadgets. Or how the intensity of Dalton is matched only by the duty-bound nature of Brosnan and smug attitude.

What about George Lazenby then? Hell, he only popped up for one underrated movie, but it ended in tragedy when his wife was murdered on his wedding day. That’s enough to break the resolve of any man, and force him into retirement. An act that had Connery returning to avenge the assault on a fellow agent that was perpetrated by SPECTRE and Blofeld.

And there’s a reason why this theory actually makes the franchise better. Because it gives it a sense of actual danger in a lethal world, one where past accomplishments aren’t worth a damn when a replacement is being groomed to take over from you.

And considering how much damage the need for more gadgets and ludicrous plots did to the franchise, it’s a balance that evens things out. Is it a full-proof theory? Probably not, becaue a die-hard fan could find holes in it (DEY ALL LIKE MARTINI’S!), but it is a fun one with a solid premise.

Oh piss off Craig.

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Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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