The biggest problem in The Division right now are trolls blocking doorways

3 min read


You’re all loaded up. You’ve got your mission, a gun that is greasier than a McDonald’s breakfast special and enough skills to pay all the bills. And then some. LETS DO DIS! Wait, hang on. Hey buddy, could you move out of the way, I can’t get through. Hey c’mon now, we’ve got to go save New York! DAMMIT MAN, PEOPLE ARE DYING OUT THERE WHILE YOU DO JUMPING JACKS!

Sound familiar? The Division has only been live for a few hours, and already the griefers have struck. The latest new technique in trolling the excited, comes courtesy of the American architectural system, as griefers have decided to block these doorways. With emotes. In hub areas where numerous players are gathered and friendly fire is on at all times, this is one aggravating new development.

According to Reddit, some players have even taken things further by requesting a password for entrance into safe-rooms, in a most amusing parody of Beerfest/PlayStation Home.

You can still get past these nuisances, but it’ll require some uncanny pushing on your part. Or you could wait for the juvenile trolls to get bored and move on. And then take note of their player handle. Befriend them, work with them. Tackle the toughest of missions together.

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And then, on one cold and fateful night in the Dark Zone, you spring your trap. You get the entire The Division community to go rogue on that one single person, setting up teams at every safe house and exit, eventually boxing the f***er in until he finds himself surrounded by dozens of guns all pointed at him. He’s already packed with loot, possibly the best loot that he’ll ever find thanks to all of your help. And you’re about to strip him of it. OOOOOH WHAT YOU SAY HEY! THAT YOU ONLY MEANT WELL! WELL OF COURSE YOU DID!

Listen, I hold a grudge. Stop being a troll. Let me through the damn door already.

Last Updated: March 9, 2016

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • Commander Admiral Chief


  • I noticed the same problem when I got in after the intro. Luckily made a dash for it soon and got out without some etterkop blocking me.

    • HairyEwok

      What’s worse is, now that it’s out there and more people see and read about it, they’ll also do it for shits and giggles which in turn makes the game unplayable. Ubi better fix this quickly or at least disable character collision.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

  • Guild

    Wasn’t me 😛

    • Commander Admiral Chief

      Indeed, you would have dropped it…

  • Hammersteyn

    If you sprint at the person blocking you can faze through eventually apparently, my games still downloading so I’ll test it later

  • miaau

    Is there a reason to do this? Or is it just completely juvenile?

    • Commander Admiral Chief

      Rhetorical question?

    • HairyEwok

      I cannot progress in the game, therefore NOBODY will progress in the game on my server instance.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    What happens in The Division when you die? You just respawn without your latest loot?

    • HairyEwok

      Through the advancements in bio-genesplicing, The Division agency is capable of redeploying a cloned version of yourself into the field. Unfortunately, the field of teleporting has not been so successful so your newer you has to cope with shitty weapons until you get to your old body and loot yourself again.

  • Commander Admiral Chief

    I’m glad I couldn’t play last night, this would have caused me to go postal

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Well if the consequences for dying aren’t really all that bad, I’d laugh at the troll, shoot the jumping jerk in the head, laugh more & then go about my day. So what if I get killed later in a dark zone?

  • HairyEwok

    I saw it and laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more. One man to ruin it all, one man to to cause rage; and in the darkness keep them in the safehouse.

  • Umar

    LOL love that skit to bits.

  • ElimiNathan

    Haha we were in the room for about an hour last night while waiting for a friend to get online to join us.
    We stood in a circle doing jumping jacks, eventually other people starting joining in, then it turned into 1 guy standing in the middle of the circle doing jumping jacks while the rest of us stood around him clapping. Haven’t laughed that hard in years

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