Home Entertainment This trailer for JAVA HEAT is like a bull in a Chinese shop

This trailer for JAVA HEAT is like a bull in a Chinese shop

1 min read

There’s something about Mickey Rourke’s face that just screams villain. It also screams “Dodgy plastic surgery is bad mmmkay”. The point is that he’s a go-to guy when it comes to being a baddie. Especially when he’s armed with an accent of indeterminate geographic origins. In Java Heat, he’ll be pitting that accent against Kellan Lutz, who some of you may recognize as the musclebound vamp from Twilight, who is now trying to take his first steps into action hero status.

Unfortunately for him and his plans,this does not look like the movie to do it.  Java Heat? More like cold coffee.

An American in Indonesia teams up with a Muslim cop to track down a terrorist.

Is Mickey Rourke now being repped by Nicolas Cage’s agent, because he is definitely much better than this. The man has been nominated for well deserved Oscars and this is what he’s doing now? And even Kellan Lutz is… Well, actually, no, based on what little I’ve seen of Lutz in Twilight, this is exactly the type of drek I expected him to star in. I can’t wait for the inevitable buddy cop movie with fellow abs with a face, Taylor Lautner.

Java Heat will see a limited theatre release and hit VOD on May 10, 2013.

Last Updated: April 11, 2013


  1. Justin Hess

    April 11, 2013 at 11:06

    Wow. That looks bad. Like DTV bad.

    Also, what the hell IS that accent?


  2. Gareth Lagesse

    April 11, 2013 at 15:11

    Pssst, it’s “China” shop. As in a shop that sells China. 😉


    • Kervyn Cloete

      April 11, 2013 at 23:29

      I’m going to assume that you never watched the trailer then…


      • Gareth Lagesse

        April 12, 2013 at 08:24

        I’m going to assume that I’ve made myself look like a chop… 😛


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