I have proven myself to be superior to some other veteran game journalists in the past week. No, not because of amazing gaming skills, but rather my ability to download the correct files for a game. I know, next thing you know I’ll be inserting USB cables on my first try.
Ever eaten too much and felt the need to loosen your belt but it’s rude to do at the table? What about when you’re walking and suddenly your belt feels too lose but you’re embarrassed to tighten it? Now there’s a solution with Belty, a smart belt that slims or expands depending on your waistline. No, this isn’t a joke, it’s the future of tech.
In other news: Twitter battles don’t always include Justin Bieber, robots are disappointing and Facebook will protect us from fake news.
Here’s all the news we didn’t post today because we were too busy laughing at fake guy gamers.
News
Final Fantasy Twitter Battle is kinda neat
How installing League of Legends and Path of Exile left some with a RAT
PS4 Exclusive Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture Teases “Amazing Stuff;” Pushing LODs, Framerate and More
Tales Of Zestiria Will Have Downloadable Skits, Don’t Worry These Are Free
Edea Confirmed as a Main Character in New Bravely Second Famitsu Scan
Three new achievements added to Sunset Overdrive which is also 40% off
Final Fantasy XIV Patch 2.5 “Before the Fall” Now Live
Stuff
More Romance In My Adult Dating Puzzle RPG
MapleStory X Attack on Titan Update Highlights
Putin Looks Disappointed With Russia’s Latest Robot
Facebook launching warning flag against false news stories
Vidja
Honest Trailers – Pirates of the Caribbean
Resident Evil – Honest Game Trailers
League of Legends Patch Rundown 5.1
The Movies
BATMAN V SUPERMAN stunt coordinator offers details on iconic fight, Batman’s martial arts
Rumour: Spoiler-ish plot details for SUICIDE SQUAD have leaked, including why Tom Hardy left
Midweek Movie Mouth-Off: The Academy Awards is all about white people
This trailer for THE GUNMAN is the last real threat on the table
Last Updated: January 21, 2015
Ryanza
January 21, 2015 at 16:02
Post on Neogaf about experience of playing The Witcher 3:
“So today I was fortunate enough to attend a exclusive Witcher 3 event
hosted by CD Projekt and Microsoft where I got to play the first 3 hours
of the game. First of all, from speaking with the dev team, the game
is pretty much done. They are in polish mode to iron out bugs and make
last minute changes. Far as I can tell, the game is good to go. I want
it now! Just based on my limited time with the game, I can already
tell this will be my GOTY or at the least, GOTY contender for sure. The
game starts off with the usual tutorial and overview of the mechanics.
What’s great is even the tutorial, it integrates with the overall story
in such a great way. Not surprising from CD Project. Also the adult
theme which I want to emphasize is very apparent from the start and has a
very Game of Thrones vibe to it to make the most familiar comparison to
for those of you who haven’t played any of the Witcher titles. The
outfits, architecture, dialog, the characters is done perfectly to draw
you into the world and lore. The combat is smoother than ever and much
more intuitive and fun without making it easy. The horse mechanic is
awesome and very similar to Red Dead. I like the fact that you can just
hold down “A” and it will automatically steer you to the direction you
need to go. Great way to check out the beautiful surroundings and
vistas. And when I say vistas.. Holy shit! You will be amazed! The
engine has no inky blotches to draw far away vistas. Anywhere you look
and no matter how far, your eyes will be treated to beautiful scenery as
any digital painting. When I say far, i mean FAR! Like holy shit far.
When i brought up my in game map which I thought was the entire map.
But when the dev showed me the world map, and that where I was looking
was just a tiny portion to the south, my jaw dropped. Seriously, the
map is huge! No wonder the avg play test of the game is 200 hours.
Anyways, you guys are in for a big treat and I can’t wait till May
comes. I can’t even imagine what Cyberpunk 2077 will be like, but
judging anything from the Witcher 3, it will be holy shit.”
He also mentioned the opening scenes and gameplay. All that I will say is a naked Yennefer and:
http://www.incgamers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/the-witcher-3-3.jpg
Hammersteyn
January 21, 2015 at 16:09
😛
http://media.giphy.com/media/10D3SlgZl2Wgo/giphy.gif
Ryanza
January 21, 2015 at 16:14
Fine, cliff notes: The Witcher 3 is fucking amazing. And if The Witcher 3 is so fucking amazing, just imagine how fucking amazing Cyberpunk 2077 is going to be.
And the game starts off with Geralt in the tub with a crab and Yennefer sitting there naked. There spoiler for you for not reading the whole damn thing.
Hammersteyn
January 21, 2015 at 16:17
It’s gonna be fantastic. Both titles
Ghost In The Rift
January 21, 2015 at 16:28
And a kid???
Is that Geralts Kid???
Please take it out of my memory:-(
Ryanza
January 21, 2015 at 16:40
That’s young Ciri. Tutorial missions of the game. She is like a child to Geralt and Yennefer. But not their child.
Ghost In The Rift
January 21, 2015 at 16:42
Okey im at peace now:-D
Ryanza
January 21, 2015 at 16:48
http://witcher.wikia.com/wiki/Ciri
Blood Emperor Trevor
January 21, 2015 at 18:50
Geralt has crabs? Uncool Geralt, uncool.
Ryanza
January 21, 2015 at 19:05
More spoilers. Geralt does not have crabs. Crabs has a Geralt. Ok that doesn’t make sense but fuck it. This is how the game starts.
“first you get this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQEJwz5xy5w then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcogCjLymeI.
You start before Witcher one in the bath tub where you have you eyes
closed. Then a little crab like creature enters the tub between your
legs and into the water. You wake up and say something like “very
funny.. there’s better ways to get my attention” and toss the crab
creature and vaporize it with his igni sign. Camera pans to Yennefer
who is sitting at her vanity table naked. Conversation about training
and well being of Ciri happens. You start the tutorial by using your
witcher senses to find the key to Ciri’s room where you go down and find
Vesemir asleep and young Ciri practicing blindfolded on top of tall
wooden stumps. The animation of her jumping and acrobatics is amazing
btw. Then you race Ciri down where the rest of the witcher are to get
go through the jumping and ladder mechanics. After some dialog, you
have an option to go through the combat tutorial with Vesemir.
Meantime, Ciri is practicing on a dummy where she knocks the dummy’s
helmet to the other side of the wall. Gerald makes her go get it where
she goes missing. Gerald tries to call to her to hurry back when shit
goes down and the Wild Hunt appears. Gerald see’s Ciri frozen where the
Wild Hunt holds her and takes her. Gerald suddenly wakes up from a
dream at a camp fire with Vesemir now at current time setting. You
start by tracking Yennefer’s track and start the game.”
Blood Emperor Trevor
January 21, 2015 at 20:41
No I’m not watching. No spoilers.
Milesh Bhana
January 21, 2015 at 16:28
“They are in polish mode”.
Well, yes, CD Projekt Red are Polish!!! 🙂
Ryanza
January 21, 2015 at 16:40
They always in Polish mode.
ToshZA
January 21, 2015 at 16:04
7 ION news section items.
#milkingittoday
Hammersteyn
January 21, 2015 at 16:07
Care package drop that belt asap.
http://www.crossfithighvoltage.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/saggypants.jpg
Admiral Chief
January 21, 2015 at 16:22
I thought it was some voice modulator
Grant Lang
January 21, 2015 at 16:38
If only Jenny and Carly had that belt, it might have kept Zack and Mr X away
Mossel
January 21, 2015 at 16:43
He may joke about that dog jumping through that window but we all shat some concrete blocks when that happened!
HvR
January 21, 2015 at 16:44
Not something I would like the beta test.
Bug report #1:
Had some some dodgy Tikka Chicken Bombsalla for lunch and could get Belty to release in time.
Bug report #2:
Was running away from muggers with my iPhone in one hand (trying to take #being_mugged selfie) and my MacBook Pro in the other when Belty’s battery ran flat causing my pants to drop to my ankles.