I love spouting generic introductions for the weekly wrap. I write stuff, you read and give a hearty chuckle now and then, and then we go our separate ways for the weekend. Speaking of which, it’s after 12. BYE!
Best Stories
Nintendo doesn’t seem to get too much love these days, which is why I’m happy to see that Splatoon sold over a million units. Hooray paint all the things!
With E3 being over, it was time for the team to hand out some shiny awards. Which games did they enjoy the most? Find out right here.
Worst Stories
Batman’s latest outing seems pretty darned amazing – if you’re not playing on PC. The Master Race port is locked to 30 frames per second, and really, really bad. To make matters worse, it got pulled off Steam! Consoles 1. PC 0.
Random Stories
Is your PC too old to run the Witcher 3? Don’t worry, there’s a workaround… if you don’t mind your eyes being assaulted with horrible, horrible visuals. AAAH IT BURNS!
In other random news, Rust is adding randomized penis size that will be tied to Steam ID’s (and thus, unchangeable). In other unrelated news, millions of new Steam ID’s have been created – Valve baffled as to why this has happened.
Oh, and for good measure, this:
Header of the Week
Hey Geoff, what is being compared here?
Oh wait…
ION of the Week
Sorry, no food awards this week! I’m getting rather fond of our random day IONs to be honest – this one from Zoe made me chuckle:
Heck, I’ll even throw in my one from last Friday as a bonus:
Most Comments
We gave out a bunch of E3 awards earlier this week. Do you all agree with our choices? Of course not! The article has 171 comments which we ignored because we are always right… Dota 2 was obviously the best of E3!
Least Comments
Look at all these new Skylanders that only two people care about! Sorry D, your article has the least comments this week.
Batman of the Week
Well, this image sums up our rankings this week I guess. Geoff is Batman, Darryn is Robin, and Zoe is Batgirl. Normality has been restored!
Cabbage of the Week
Meanwhile, holding up the rest of the staff from the bottom, Alessandro and I. It pains me to say that I am the bigger cabbage. I almost tasted greatness last week, and now here I am, at the bottom. Damn!
Comment of the Week
Darryn takes his jurnalisms seriously, which is why he left no game untouched at E3. Did you read his impressions on Barbie and Her Sisters Puppy Rescue? The comment section was rather packed, leading Stosta to say this:
This article gets any more comments and Lazygamer will have to get a dedicated Barbie author.
DON’T YOU FREAKING DARE GIVE THE TEAM ANY IDEAS I AM MISERABLE ENOUGH AS IS THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Bonus Content
Don’t you hate it when you accidentally drop the bass during an interview?
Darryn always has something special to share each week. Here’s his latest YouTube recommendation:
BUT I HOPE YOU LEAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR MY FIST BECAUSE I’M GONNA RAM IT INTO YOUR STOMACH!
Last Updated: June 26, 2015
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 12:33
Bwahahahaha, now that’s how you do a slow exit off the dance floor.
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:34
All those in favour of getting the cabbage of the week to write these barbie reviews?
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:35
Vote #1
Ottokie
June 26, 2015 at 12:36
Vote #2
*also request a Lazygamer behind the scenes vid so we can have a look at LG HQ 😛
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:37
You want to see behind the scenes at Darryn’s home???
YOU CRAZY MAN!
Ottokie
June 26, 2015 at 12:37
We have seen plenty of Darryn’s home… and more xD
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:38
The clean section, yes
Hammersteyn
June 26, 2015 at 12:38
Vote #3
Kensei Seraph - Terran Ghost
June 26, 2015 at 12:42
Motion carried.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9wdstYsoK1rrk7c1o1_400.gif
hairyknees
June 26, 2015 at 12:54
http://media.giphy.com/media/12XMGIWtrHBl5e/giphy.gif
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:55
Sorry, but the motion has carried already
hairyknees
June 26, 2015 at 13:04
:'(
Kensei Seraph - Terran Ghost
June 26, 2015 at 12:56
http://media.tumblr.com/14bb9fa9d19f6a9b89a2a72c4901d2e9/tumblr_inline_muu8iyHkkE1rmqdh5.gif
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 26, 2015 at 12:57
So that’s a maybe? Getting some serious mixed messages from you.
Ottokie
June 26, 2015 at 13:00
http://s3.amazonaws.com/policymic-images/n1z3evf7cwjj7xlsce8ohwmvtm2g71dmo6wberms3kyf9ahfhnqpkahfarf8nj6m.gif
hairyknees
June 26, 2015 at 13:04
O_O
Sageville
June 26, 2015 at 13:01
Still my fav
hairyknees
June 26, 2015 at 13:04
Mine too xD
Captain JJ Browmehn
June 26, 2015 at 13:46
You get my vote for this awesome gif.
Ranting Raptor
June 26, 2015 at 13:40
You have my vote!
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 12:36
Ahhh we have a ah Ahhh we have a ah Ahhh we have a ah Ahhh we have a ah Ahhh we have a ah
RinceThis
June 26, 2015 at 12:38
BWAHAHAH! I crack up every time I watch that.
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:39
Sounds like he is trying to summon a giant cabbage
Hammersteyn
June 26, 2015 at 12:40
Sounds like he heard Dota 3 was announced just as the interview starts
Hammersteyn
June 26, 2015 at 12:38
Geoff! Congrats Stosta!
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 12:55
Gotham City has load shedding?
Hammersteyn
June 26, 2015 at 13:04
LOL!
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 26, 2015 at 13:04
PS4 get the Dark Knight, PC gets Blackest Night – and there isn’t even a Green Lantern game. :/
RinceThis
June 26, 2015 at 13:07
I hear they are changing the name to Dark Not.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 26, 2015 at 13:09
And changing the setting from Arkham Asylum to Arkham Power Plant.
“Batman, you need to get there quickly & restart the Steam generators or Gotham will be in darkness forever!”
RinceThis
June 26, 2015 at 13:10
I was going to say it sounds like Batman has run out of steam!
Mark Treloar
June 26, 2015 at 13:13
Suddenly tempted to mod the game, only instead of chasing the Scarecrow, you are hunting a villain named Eskom, The Prince of Darkness.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 26, 2015 at 13:13
*Clown-Prince of Darkness. 😉
Mark Treloar
June 26, 2015 at 13:42
You can hunt him through Nkandla, sneaking through the chicken coop, swimming through the fire pool and meeting for the final showdown in the amphitheater.
RinceThis
June 26, 2015 at 12:40
Staph! Cruise wants his moves back! http://reactiongif.org/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/08/GIF-Dancing-dance-feeling-it-moves-party-hard-success-successful-Tom-Cruise-Tropic-Thunder-GIF.gif
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 12:41
From Operas couch.
Hammersteyn
June 26, 2015 at 13:05
Best cameo ever
brendalaris
June 26, 2015 at 12:41
hellow guys its 26 june mY bIrthdAy ToDaY..:)
Aries
June 26, 2015 at 12:42
Happy Birthday
brendalaris
June 26, 2015 at 12:44
tHANKS Aries.. 🙂
Kensei Seraph - Terran Ghost
June 26, 2015 at 12:43
Here, have some delicious cake.
http://i.imgur.com/fSjCoMc.gif
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:43
What is the white stuff?
Kensei Seraph - Terran Ghost
June 26, 2015 at 12:45
Vanilla chocolate sauce?
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:46
Seems legit. As it looks like some sort of strawberry cake thing, so I thought, maybe cream? But it does not look very ‘creamy’?
Kensei Seraph - Terran Ghost
June 26, 2015 at 12:48
There’s a blue squirrel creature on her shoulder, it’s might be some futuristic, outer-space type of cream.
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:54
Squirrel cream?
VampyreSquirrel
June 26, 2015 at 13:08
It wasn’t me… it was him!
http://www.focusst.org/forum/attachments/off-topic/67919d1411512157-those-need-laugh-squirrel.gif
HvR
June 26, 2015 at 13:17
What you said?
brendalaris
June 26, 2015 at 12:44
YUMMIII Thank you dear. 🙂
hairyknees
June 26, 2015 at 12:52
And now I want cake O_o
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 26, 2015 at 12:54
Don’t ever say I don’t give you anything…
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:44
Woop woop!
RinceThis
June 26, 2015 at 12:44
Happy happy Birthday dude! May your weekend rock!
Hammersteyn
June 26, 2015 at 12:46
Happy happy
brendalaris
June 26, 2015 at 12:48
Thanks Hammersteyn dude. 🙂
hairyknees
June 26, 2015 at 12:52
Happy Birthday! :D/! Hope you have a party weekend planned 😛
brendalaris
June 26, 2015 at 12:53
yes I have and Thanks ALOT. 🙂
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:55
You must comment MOAR! I’ve never seen you comment here, or are you….A LURKER?
Kensei Seraph - Terran Ghost
June 26, 2015 at 12:57
That’s how the madness starts.
In a few days @brendalaris:disqus will be commenting like a regular.
Geoffrey Tim
June 26, 2015 at 13:01
Happy Birthday, even if I think you’re a sneaky spammer.
brendalaris
June 26, 2015 at 13:09
Thanks.
Ir0nseraph
June 26, 2015 at 13:18
Happy birthday.
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 12:42
The Asian girl be like
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 12:43
fuck youtube
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 26, 2015 at 12:45
xD
HvR
June 26, 2015 at 13:22
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 14:43
lol
Her Highness the Hipster
June 26, 2015 at 12:48
Sandy Step is the best thing on the internet. end of story.
RinceThis
June 26, 2015 at 12:52
Agreed.
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 26, 2015 at 12:52
I thought he was going to start singing this:
oVg "I hate Portals" - Geralt
June 26, 2015 at 12:57
noooo, it stopped
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 26, 2015 at 12:59
fuck youtube 😉
RinceThis
June 26, 2015 at 13:00
Youtube gonna be tired!
Lord Chaos
June 26, 2015 at 13:59
Dams it. 🙁