We’re suckers for special editions of games here at Lazygamer. After all, how else do you explain Darryn taking out a loan so that he could by the Stone Cold Steve Austin Jockstrap Edition of WWE 2K15? And that’s a problem that won’t be solved in the near future.
We love us a good collector’s edition, and we’re already making plans to get the Call of Duty Black Ops 3 Juggernog Edition, because it has a freakin’ fridge! But here’s a bunch of games that we’d love to see ship with a few…extras.
Batman Arkham Knightfall – Be The Batman Edition
- The game
- Steel book casing
- Bat-Mite skin
- A once-off offer to have your parents murdered by a professional criminal, the horrific experience of seeing this unfold before your eyes having the effect of spurring you on a lifelong quest to bring justice to your city as you train your mind, body and soul
- Branded body bags for your dead parents. Keep the corpses of your parents fresh with a cadaver bag that has the Arkham logo proudly emblazoned on it!
- Season Pass (Lolno, as if Warner Bros. Interactive would allow us to do that. Pony up sucka)
Mad Max: The Fast and the Furiosa Edition
- SO SHINY
- SO CHROME
- I LIVE, I DIE, I LIVE AGAIN
- Entrance to Valhalla
- One developer will be on hand to “witness” you
- Some of that chrome spray crap that the War Boys get high on
- The game
- High chance that you may have a baby brother who was perfect in every way
- Art book
- High-Octane crazy fuel-blood AKA a can of Redbull
Half-Life 3: Silent Protagonist 1+2=? Edition
- No game
- It will never happen
- Box of tissues to wipe away excessive tears
- Invisible crowbar
- Imaginary HEV suit
- Non-existent Gordon Freeman figurine
Final Fantasy VII Remake: Hype Train Edition
- Buster sword keychain
- 1/100 scale model of Midgar
- Exclusive access to Final Fantasy VIII Remake beta
- One Winged Angel DLC character unlock (defeat Sephiroth AS Sephiroth!)
- Limited toggle retro graphics on/off option
- The game
- Shinra’s all-purpose hair gel (guaranteed to keep hair pointy permanently)
- Authentic phoenix down feather plucked from the finest of pigeons
- $%#@! Barret Plushie
- Pen and paper
- Fake Square Enix postal address
- Envelope with pre-stamped ‘this is what the game should’ve been’ text
- Disappointment ointment
Fallout 4: Gone Fission Edition
Fallout 4 already has a ridiculous Collector’s Edition, coming with a large and unwieldy phone holder that’s decidedly Pip-Boy shaped. It’s become rather sought after, selling out everywhere (before popping up on eBay) – but it’s honestly not good enough.
Here’s what Fallout 4’s Collector’s Edition should contain:
- The game. Obviously.
- Your own chunk of enriched Uranium! Why simulate radiation poisoning, when you can experience it for real!
- Real live scorpions and cockroaches, so you can breed your own super RAD mutated ones!
- A Dog. Digital companionship is for chumps! Get your own canine companion – just hope that it hasn’t been sitting on the shelves for months.
- A pre-made list of excuses for the game’s inevitable bugs
Last Updated: July 16, 2015
July 16, 2015 at 15:36
Lulz at all but the header.
Can’t wait to open my Pip-Boy come November