A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…The most annoying character in all of pop culture was created. A gold-plated whining tosspot of circuits that is fluent in over four million languages of whinge, there is absolutely nothing good about the resident protocol droid that infests the Star Wars mythos. Ask yourself this: Is there any single scene in all of Star Wars that C3PO has contributed to in any meaningful way?
Has he ever saved the day, helped steer the plot forward or done anything other than be a screeching nuisance in the background? In comparison to R2D2, the real hero of Star Wars, C3PO is a menace and a bully. Always taking time to pat himself on the back for doing nothing, kick poor R2D2 whenever an opportunity presents itself and irritate the crew of the Millennium Falcon with his blithering lack of useful functions.
Basically…to hell with C3PO.
You might at this juncture point out that Jar Jar Binks is worse, which is a straight-up lie. Jar Jar Binks is adorable, Jar Jar Binks single-handedly turned the tide in the battle for Naboo when the Gungan army succeeded in weaponising his clumsiness as a weapon of mass destruction. Jar Jar Binks may have accidentally allowed Palpatine to seize power, overthrow the Jedi and plunge the galaxy into an era of tyranny but at least he managed to do so in an entertaining fashion.
C3PO on the other hand, is why you never ask Darth Vader about his past unless you want your windpipe violently choked with a Midichlorian massage. He’s the worst, I absolutely detest him and I’m hoping that Star Wars Episode 9 ends with Rey using the Force to drop a third Death Star on top of his moaning tin butt.
Am I being too harsh? Maybe, but I can’t be alone in my displeasure. Sound off below if you’re in agreement with me, about C3PO being the very worst thing to come out of Star Wars since someone on the internet decided to sketch Rule 34 Salacious Crumb art.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: October 4, 2019