Move aside Gumtree! Stand back OLX, because Facebook’s marketplace is here and it’s kind of…really damn good actually. Much like anything else online where you’re given a chance to prove the old adage of one man’s junk being another man’s treasure, the Facebook marketplace is a hive of activity that features daily listings of crap that nobody wants.
Some of it is good though! Secondhand cars, used furniture in good nick and various smartphones can be found if you don’t mind paying a few bucks for pre-loved goods. Meanwhile, provided that you aren’t completely cuckoo in the brain and now how your material items depreciate in value after you’ve bought them, it’s easy to make a quick buck on the platform.
With that being said, it seems that some people are keen to list everything and anything on the FB marketplace. A rotting palm tree that you have to pay to remove and take away? Sure! A half-eaten plate of food? You betcha! An old bed mattress that will probably emit an explosion of light similar to that of the Sirius star if you shine a black light on it and uncover an ocean of “fluids”? Yes, these things actually exist.
Perusing the FB marketplace has actually become a hobby of mine lately, as I’m fascinated with the items listed that people consider to actually be worth a few Randelas. You can’t blame a guy for trying, but some of those listings defy conventional belief. The catch here, is that I’m only seeing adverts for stuff in my neck of the woods. I know that Port Elizabeth is South Africa’s cousin that never gets talked about in polite company, but that madness extends far beyond the borders of this metropolitan armpit.
So tell me, what mental listings have you seen on Facebook? Am I the mad one for turning this into a game that functions as Top Trumps for garbage? Let us know below and better yet, show us some great examples if you can.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: June 28, 2019
VampyreSquirrel
June 28, 2019 at 11:19
Facebook has a marketplace?
Yahtzee
June 28, 2019 at 11:33
https://media.tenor.com/images/5298a465a149fffad0813dddb996e9ce/tenor.gif
Gr8_Balls_o_Fire
June 28, 2019 at 12:09
Hahahaha love this guy!
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 11:33
Risen from the dead, are we?
VampyreSquirrel
June 28, 2019 at 12:37
Never died, just became a lurker.
Geoffrey Tim
June 28, 2019 at 11:19
A lady was selling a collection of the free chopsticks you get from takeaway Chinese places. 11 pairs of random chopsticks for R20. Facebook is weird.
Mark Treloar
June 28, 2019 at 14:35
How about this Laptop? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1b4a67b484762139bad5c626dfeabaaa86970dc7dcef0decc41828202b4811e8.png
Jacques Van Zyl
June 28, 2019 at 11:20
I regret never taking a photo now but whilst visiting friends over in Poland I saw a working tractor selling for the equivalent of R4200. Was a weird sight.
For the Emperor!
June 28, 2019 at 11:39
I have never browsed the FB marketplace. My dad however, browses it every night…
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 11:44
Why the … ?
For the Emperor!
June 28, 2019 at 13:24
He likes looking at cars, caravans, little doodads that “might be useful someday”. But I think that is also where he got my moms two new Pomeranians. Cute little house-shitters.
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 11:53
I have zerp Randelas to spend on shit. And if I wanted to see crap, I would watch any Oscar winning movie for the last 5 years at least.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 13:55
How much is a zerp?
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 13:55
Does a zerp exist?
No.
So nothing.
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 17:15
That’s meta.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 17:27
Layered AF
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 17:15
I don’t spend zerp on shit, I give mine freely
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 17:27
What about when it’s Oros-infused?
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 17:37
Still free. Have you seen the zerping price of Oros these days? Madness. Probably R20 sugar tax
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 17:49
I don’t buy that stuff. Far too fake sweet for me. The only non-tea/coffee thing I buy is Coke Zero once in a while. No sugar.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 19:01
I quite enjoy coke zerp
Pariah
June 29, 2019 at 01:12
FUCK I totally missed that opportunity.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 29, 2019 at 08:14
nanananana too late, you now have zerp chance to claim it
Pariah
June 29, 2019 at 08:23
Zerp you, dammit!
Gr8_Balls_o_Fire
June 28, 2019 at 15:20
Maybe a Zerg?
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 15:42
Nope. A zerp.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 12:09
Aaaaaaaaaaand the thread dieded
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 12:09
Like your love life?
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 12:17
Not anymore! I’ve had the best 14 months of my LIFE and counting!
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 12:24
Went out for Ice Cream. XD
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 12:24
Oros flavoured?
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 12:24
Teak & rusks, and Honeycomb Crunch.
Yahtzee
June 28, 2019 at 12:24
Chocolate Chip Mint is the only good flavour
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 12:24
Best flavour I’ve ever had was Millionaire’s Shortbread.
Yahtzee
June 28, 2019 at 12:09
Lunchtime
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 14:24
I have to get back to “work” now.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 12:17
I have gerookte mossels and salticrax and cheddar
Yahtzee
June 28, 2019 at 12:17
Spicy peri peri garlic chicken livers and udon noodles here
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 12:17
McDonalds!
Magoo
June 28, 2019 at 12:17
I have a pack of sweet chilli fritos.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 12:37
Good bye FFD, this was fun…We need 3x more for 100 comments. CH community, make me proud!
Gr8_Balls_o_Fire
June 28, 2019 at 11:27
Kinda off-topic, but i’m desperately looking for a sim-racing rig, and Fanatec CSL Elite bundle. They don’t ship here 🙁
Hammersteyn
June 28, 2019 at 11:27
Sounds expensive
Yahtzee
June 28, 2019 at 11:38
I have a couple of friends who ended up building their own rigs since they could not get some in SA. Might be a blueprint somewhere for it if you dont mind getting your hands dirty.
Yahtzee
June 28, 2019 at 11:33
Obligatory “I deleted facebook and shut down my account years ago” comment.
I have seen some Anti vax kak on Takealot though if that counts.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 11:38
I recently saw a WhatsApp status message of someone I’ve known for quite some time, but don’t have frequent contact with for the last decade, about a major anti-vax movement their church is doing…perma muted
Yahtzee
June 28, 2019 at 13:43
It’s Andre isnt it
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 12:09
A good friend of mine is an anti-vaxxer and she is on Facebook.
I had to mute her.
Telling friends that they are stupid pieces of brain shit and should have been smothered at birth then set on fire and then tossed into a ditch so that hobos can urinate on them is not constructive to the relationship.
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 14:04
I hope you have an outlet for that rage. While I’m not against it due to where it’s aimed, perhaps it’s best to stay out of prison.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 17:27
Perhaps venting on Disqus is his outlet?
Pariah
June 28, 2019 at 17:27
While that does help, there’s something satisfying about punching a heavy bag that furiously typing on a keyboard just can’t live up to. And by bag I don’t mean Kaasie’s face.
Dutch Matrix
June 28, 2019 at 17:27
I get rid of my frustrations by playing The Sims.
Admiral Chief Umbra
June 28, 2019 at 14:04
So you get zerp posts from her, smort!