Chris Pratt apologises for everything ahead of Jurassic Park world tour

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My BFF Chris Pratt never ceases to impress me with his hunting skills, his drinking acting lessons and his rather naughty teasing of other fellow actors. This time he posted a Facebook update apologising for anything stupid he may say, do, comment on, remark about that may lead to offending you, your mother, your mother’s colleagues pet hamster or the next door neighbour. What is he on about you may ask? Well he is about to embark on a world tour to promote the upcoming Jurassic World and his apology seems to be aimed at some of the stars of the recent and rather awesome Avengers: Age of Ultron.

In case you are out of the loop both Chris Evans (Captain America) and fellow actor Mark Ruffalo (who plays the green rage machine better known as the Hulk) both committed faux pas when talking about what a ‘whore’ Black Widow is, nice one guys. Of course they apologised and said they were exhausted and didn’t know what they were doing, whether you believe them is up to you. Here’s what Pratt has prepared as a pre-emptive SORRY:

I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming ‪#‎JurassicWorld‬ press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I’m the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s).

I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which I am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can’t say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don’t want to but probably will have said. To those I (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry I already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed “JurassicGate” is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those I (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn’t happen (again).

I would have thought that he was tired of being in the limelight since he hit the super leagues after the smash hit Guardians of the Galaxy last year but he seems to revel in it. Perhaps he is just the nice guy everyone makes him out to be. Still, I am sure there will be some bump in the road in the future and as long as he actually says sorry again I’ll forgive him. I mean I’d forgive him if he burnt every cosplay outfit Darryn has and ever will create. Am I right or am I right? I’ll leave you with the most recent trailer for Jurassic Park while you ponder on that.

Last Updated: May 26, 2015

Nick Reay

I have been an avid fan of movies ever since I discovered Santa Clause wasn't real, a day marked in my memory by my first viewing of It's a Wonderful Life, which wasn't so wonderful that day. Since then I've watched thousands of movies and even fooled my parents into putting me through uni to get a degree in the subject. I first started writing as a journalist for The South African Newspaper before moving onto communications for an NGO trying to save the planet. Unfortunately my recommendations to the CEO that we should all don rings imbued with the powers of earth, fire, wind, water and HEART went unheard. Now I pretend the end isn't nigh by hiding in movies.

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