Japan is delivering a solid one-two jab in April, with Resident Evil 3 dropping a mere two solar cycles after a certain day of fools has come and gone, whereas Square Enix is going back to Midgar on April 10 with a remake of Final Fantasy VII.

Fans have been clamouring for an updated version of their beloved classic, and that’s just what they’re getting! Square Enix revealed that a remastered version is on the way, under the title of NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139… and no I’m not joking that telephone number is the actual name of the game and I refuse to use it. Kingdom Hearts’ Tetsuya Nomura must be frothing at the mouth right now over this missed opportunity.

There are still those who are willing to get up at the crack of dusk and boot up their console to find him for you. People who’ll risk digital life and limb to let you know if Xur is selling a treasure or rubbish. I just so happen to be one of those people. Maybe you’re stuck at work and can only log in later tonight. In that case: Where is Xur?

Forget about diamonds, gold bullion or rare art: This year’s go-to material for pilfering in an elaborate heist isn’t even tangible. Computer code is the precious resource that commands a high premium, and any sticky-fingered thief with ears built for safecracking could find themselveson the receiving end of a very generous payday should they succeed in absconding with the rarest of treasures.

Jill Valentine’s escape from Raccoon City is fraught with danger, but she still has some dependable allies to rely on… as well as some enemies to watch out for. Jill won’t just be the star of Resident Evil 3, though – she’ll also be added as a playable Survivor in Resident Evil Resistance in a future update.

Surprise! Having left Randy Orton in charge for the day, Nintendo launched a new mini-direct presentation from outta nowhere, leading to a three-count of joy and the reveal of a ton of games headed to the mega-popular console. So without wasting any more time, let’s dig into the announcements!

Segata Sanshiro’s tale may have come to an end in 1998, but his legacy lives on through his son. Just in time for SEGA's 60th anniversary celebration.

A spectacular floating fortress of of pain, an arsenal of wagons waiting to be unlocked and a home away from home, the Fortress of Doom may just be the ultimate headquarters ever conceived of in a video game. There’s plenty to do inside of it! From spending Sentinel batteries in the vaults that unlock new armour to grabbing a pair of well-hidden cheat codes, the Fortress of Doom even has a prison filled with captured demons that you can test out your new toys on.