Since most men get an erection when they wake up, the planet is constantly doing a boner wave.
Best stories of the week
I recently watched Rise of Skywalker, which was kind of a…dumb film. I don’t dislike it, but I can’t say that I’ll make an effort to see it again anytime soon. What i would have watched several times over though, is Colin Trevorrow’s original pitch for the new trilogy-ending film, one that has been delightfully animated! Check it out.
Meanwhile, fans of Mario have reasons to be happy. Multiple reasons! Looks like Nintendo is going to do what it does best, which is make you buy the same game several times over. HAW! Lastly, I’ down for more Rick and Morty, as the second half of the latest season arrives soon according to the latest and schwiftiest trailer which just landed.
Worst stories of the week
DAMMIT CORONA! We’ve had a whole bunch of delays thrown at us this week, as well as the cancellation of QuakeCon 2020 and an indefinite postponement of The Last of Us Part II. On top of all that, is news of how Gearbox employees being all but robbed of their promised bonuses for making Borderlands 3 such a swell game to play. It’s almost as if massive corporations fronted by controversial figures don’t have the wellbeing of their employees in mind.
WTF story of the week
There wasn’t much that made me spit my tea out like a British officer dumbfounded at an American rebel army’s refusal to engage in a war that is won by seeing who runs out of soldiers first, but there is this! Killer Clowns! From outer space! Sequel! Exclamation marks! Actually wait, one more WTF story: That rumour of Destiny 3 being a thing, that fooled absolutely no one when the leak in question came from a photoshopped image straight out of The Terminator. All the lolz.
Header image of the week
I’m the only one in the gang currently even doing custom header images when I have a chance, so this is basically me patting myself on the back every week. That being said, I’m surprised at just how resilient and handy my Sad Dawson Slayer image has been lately.
Comment of the week
I’ll be honest, it’s hard to find comments this week. Everyone is depressed, a lot of you can’t crib some time on the site since you’re no longer at work and it feels a little unfair to only reward the truly faithful in the glorious Critical Hit crusade. Still love you guys though HUGS! So until things are back to normal, I’ll be putting the comments award on hold. And replacing it with something else, I suppose. Like an analysis of the potential chance at winning that a duck could have if it faced a silverback gorilla. SCIENCE!
Critical Hit Original Recipe Content
Wrestlemania 36 – Every match on this weekend and how to watch for free
DOOM Eternal’s bastard Marauder can go back to hell and stay there
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Campaign Remastered review – More Darn Warfare
Dress your desktop to impress with this collection of video game wallpapers
In Other Waters Review – Waterworld
The Complex – From Bandersnatch to Bandages, Natch!
Resident Evil 3 Review – Aiming for the S.T.A.R.S
The best comic book covers of the week – 30 March 2020
Paper Beast review – A story unfolds
Borderlands 3: Guns, Love and Tentacles DLC Review – Lord of the wedding rings
Every video game out in April 2020 – Fantasy, zombies and one ugly mother-lover
Bonus DVD content
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: April 3, 2020