If you named your child Death you would always have a Death in the family.

There’s no such thing as a broken rock, there’s just new rocks.

Since most men get an erection when they wake up, the planet is constantly doing a boner wave.

Closing your mouth is touching your face with your own face.

All of these cancelled festivals messed up by not booking The Cure.

Gaston is the winner of the No Belle Prize.

Children and tattoos aren’t so different. They’re both easily removed with lasers.

Everything’s a stress ball if you’re strong enough.