I think I know why I’m so damaged now, after I decided to look back at those shows which my infant mind absorbed. You ever hear the old adage of gazing into the abyss and then seeing the darkness look back at you? If the abyss had a face, it would be Woofles from Pumpkin Patch, a fever dream giving polyester flesh and unleashed on children so that dark forces could harvest the screams of the innocent.

Just remember, your nipples will always be older than your teeth.

Being careless is a bad thing, but being carefree is a good thing.

Look, we all know that a beta is not going to function as deftly as the full release. When you jump into an unfinished version of a game, you can expect all kinds of weird glitches and bugs to happen, and in some ways, that’s part of the charm. The appeal of seeing a game taking the last few wobbly …

In 1995, Leon Schuster performed a song which would become the anthem for the Rugby World Cup. Twenty five years later, and he's back with a new track. May the gods have mercy on our souls.

Gamescom was rad as all Hell. Personally, it was the first convention I’ve ever had the opportunity to cover, so setting aside the crippling anxiety that is flying overseas by yourself and staying in a stranger’s spare room (it was a really good price and he only stole one of my kidneys, very considerate) Gamescom was everything I wanted it …

Let’s be honest: Plant-based hamburgers are actually shamburgers.

We had a tradition in my university residence, a weekly movie club of sorts. Every Saturday, to recover from the hangovers that usually followed a Friday night out, a group of friends and I would gather in the common room and watch a horror film. The selection rotated every week so that we all got a chance to choose what …