We’re sorry to report that due to Stage 2 intro-shedding, Crit-kom will have to initiate rolling blackouts on introductory paragraphs.
I’ve mentioned this before, about how last week saw some fantastic art from a deceased artist used for more nefarious purposes in a movement whose horrid name shan’t be mentioned here. While it’s a kick in the shins to see the legacy of one of the all-time great comic book artists from recent memory be sullied with that nonsense, at least the impact was softened with tales of just how professional Mike Wieringo was towards the end of his life, delivering not only amazing art but a loyalty that is seldom seen in the turbulent comic book industry today.
Activision may have fewer games to release in 2019, but that didn’t stop the mega publisher from making some mad bank last year and posting record profits! While also f***ing over around 800 of their employees at the same time, hard-working souls who all got the pink slip of death this week and were cast into the wilderness that is the American jobs market.
Y’all ready to see what would happen in Will Smith ate that weird bubblegum at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory and was also granted the power of sorceror supreme? Well too bad friendo, because once you see genie Will Smith you can’t unsee genie Will Smith. In West Agrabah, stored and enslaved, in the cave of wonders is where I spent most of days! Chilling out in my lamp, maxing and shooting some wishes outside for a tramp!
Critical Hit original recipe content
Crackdown 3 review – Crews Control
Alita: Battle Angel review – Eye-popping spectacle
Far Cry: New Dawn review – A New Hope
All the news, reveals and release dates revealed in the latest Nintendo Direct
Green Book review – Light reading
Apex Legends review–Battle Royale Redefined
Local weekend box office – Dragons still rule on slow weekend
Anime Awards 2019 – All the nominees for the best in Japanese animation
The best comic book covers of the week – 11 February 2019
Inked Review – Doodle me like one of your Nameless Heroes
Weird living with laughs – A Charlie Sanders interview
The Division 2 private beta – A leaner and meaner refinement of what made the original great
Weekend box office – The LEGO Movie 2 opens way under expectations
Comment of the week
Because I’m easily amused and somehow have the ability to read sentences in the exact same way that certain actors would, Ive been sitting here giggling all morning at the idea of a new Tommy Wiseau movie about sharks and how the best worst actor of all time delivers his lines. Thanks for the laughter, Mistake Not:
“WaTeR! LoOk At ThAt!”
Gets mauled by a shark: “Waah! Aaah! Uuuh! Eeeh! What is it!?”
Header image of the week
Ya know what, screw it. When Geoff does a header image that only appeals to a tiny handful of people, it’s still genius. Just like this feature image he whipped up, for when your numerous Fortnite accounts become one:
Dumbass of the week
Considering that I’ve had most of my week and ability to work ruined by eight hour blackouts at the hands of Eskom’s imcomptent management, you know what? Screw those guys. It’s not enough that I pay through my nose for electricity thanks to massive corruption here in the Eastern cape, but having load shedding on top of that sundae of disaster has left me feeling a little less optimistic than usual.
So here you go Eskom, not only am I awarding the corporation with Dumbass of the Week, I’m extending it. You’re honorary Dumbasses of all eternity, beyond when the sun consumes our planet, the universe succumbs to entropy and not even quarks can move in the endless void that our universe will eventually transition towards. Thanks a lot, jackasses.
Bonus DVD content
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: February 15, 2019