Balloons are rubber bags of someone’s breath.
Best stories of the week
Edgy comic book fans of the 1990s, rejoice! Neil Gaiman’s Sandman is finally coming to media, and while it may be in audio form only, you can’t deny that this take on the cult classic Vertigo comic book series has a hell of a cast attached! I’m a sucker for 1980s movies, so with Mortal Kombat adding the law enforcement officer of the future to its mix, I’m overjoyed that we’ll finally be playing a good Robocop game.
While it’s an example that most video game developers won’t be able to emulate, I’m still overjoyed to see Epic reveal the Unreal Engine 5, which looks amazing in action so far. And in pure nostalgia news, I’m busting out a 900 hype over the official reveal of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1+2, a remaster slash remake that I have been waiting AGES for. HYPE!
Worst stories of the week
I hate to be the bearer of bad news…actually no, that’s a lie because I feed on your misery. Anyway, The Elder Scrolls 6 is very very far away and you can stop bugging Bethesda about it now. Over in Apex Legends, it’s time to say goodbye to a favourite as the recent patch has all but nerfed Pathfinder’s ability to cheese his way out of danger.
WTF stories of the week
Two stories came to mind this week: The Culling popping back into the gaming meta-gate, thanks to a bonkers monetisation model where the game you’ve just bought allows you to play one free match a day. ONE. Second? Kevin James, yes that Kevin James, may just be the scariest Neo-Nazi since Edward Norton told a fella to put his mouth on a curb.
Header image of the week
EVO’s going online and no Smash Bros. allowed. TO THE PILLOW FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE!
Comments of the week
While it’s not technically a comment, this post isn’t a democracy either and I say Hammer wins the nod this week for this little cartoon that had us all giggling in the Unreal 5 engine reveal article:
While it’s not technically a comment, this post isn’t a democracy either and I say Hammer wins the nod this week for this little cartoon that had us all giggling in the Unreal 5 engine reveal article:
Because I’m an idiot with the memory of a malfunctioning sieve, I didn’t notice today that I ran a Friday Debate with the exact same topic. Still! From stupidity rose genius, with Krabby Paddy dropping this absolute gem of wordlplay:
The regulars get to have D jà vu
It’s comments like that, that make me happy to be a buffoon with terrible memory.
Comment of the week
Because I’m an idiot with the memory of a malfunctioning sieve…wait shit I did this one already.
Critical Hit Original Recipe Content
Ten years later, Alan Wake still stands tall as a triumph of storytelling and action
And the winners of an Everspace 2 prototype code are…
11 things you need to know about Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2
Gears Tactics – How Edward Patrick White created a soundtrack loaded with corrupted elements and Easter eggs
The best comic book covers of the week – 11 May 2020
Someday You’ll Return review – Honestly, I don’t think I want to
Proximity Review – Retrotastic sci-fi themes spoiled by a clumsy story
The Critical Hit guide to all the video game digital events coming your way
Bonus DVD Content
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: May 15, 2020
Pariah
May 15, 2020 at 14:27
Darryn. You’re a beautifully brilliant buffoon with a terrible memory and we love you. 😀
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 15:43
https://media2.giphy.com/media/PM8pebsx3O6Na/giphy.gif
The D
May 15, 2020 at 15:43
https://media0.giphy.com/media/l2YSgsunrP27ddQje/giphy.gif
Hammersteyn
May 15, 2020 at 14:34
@rincethis:disqus sent me that pic. I was gonna say thanks but I’ve decided to use another one from the group. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4b922f40c240d5a090a0539e46a4af152701b3df643ce4b4fcdc672779de6b7f.jpg
RinceThis
May 15, 2020 at 14:34
What lies are you spreading? It’s the first time I’ve seen it!
Weanerdog
May 15, 2020 at 14:38
He thinks all Captonians look the same. Anyway my pleasure.
Hammersteyn
May 15, 2020 at 14:49
Except Rince that stood out like a sore thumb but he’s in England now……. oh.
Weanerdog
May 15, 2020 at 14:49
I miss Rince, but my aim is improving.
Hammersteyn
May 15, 2020 at 15:06
Hahahahaha
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 15:50
Just remember, two in the back of the neck, and then another between the eyes, just in case. This is Rince after all, I’m pretty sure they have a phoenix down in their pocket.
HvR
May 15, 2020 at 16:11
Problem is all the rounds fall short
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 16:11
https://media0.giphy.com/media/26zyZ5sb3eEcnYURW/giphy-downsized-medium.gif
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 15:43
Hammer is just intimidated by our pretty mountain.
HvR
May 15, 2020 at 15:50
When you realize Hammer has been cheating on you with another Whatsapp meme group
https://media.giphy.com/media/NTY1kHmcLsCsg/giphy.gif
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 16:04
lol, you get used to it after a while, because the meme spam is worth it 😛
Hammersteyn
May 18, 2020 at 07:15
I am a generous meme baron. I share my memes to everyone equally not caring about my data costs.
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 15:50
Is it bad that while I downloaded your meme, I played that epic Command and Conquer Red Alert tune in my head….
HvR
May 15, 2020 at 16:04
Nah that is just getting into the New New South Africa spirit, no hugging, no kissing, just soviet
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 16:04
All Soviet… in winter clothes!
HvR
May 15, 2020 at 16:04
And NO UNDERPANTS!!!
Going Comrade Comando
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 16:11
Letting your Stalin hang free… hoppa Gulag style!!!
HvR
May 15, 2020 at 16:11
Jip just Lenin it zol around
Son of Banana Jim
May 15, 2020 at 16:11
Because when the people zol… 😀
HvR
May 15, 2020 at 16:11
Hammersteyn
May 18, 2020 at 07:15
Best tune ever. Damn EA for closing Westwood
Krabby Paddy
May 15, 2020 at 14:34
Your buffoonery makes your articles fun to read. Glad you enjoyed the comment.
I have to now wonder though if I have jinxed my chances in future CH competitions.
The D
May 15, 2020 at 14:38
lolno
I’ve got thick skin dude, and I genuinely appreciate a good ribbing.
Krabby Paddy
May 15, 2020 at 14:43
Haha, I stalk this site enough to know that. I also know that when it comes to competitions there is a thing about it commonly going to people completely unknown to regular commenters.