I’ve been selling cocaine lately. You could call it a blow job.
Best story of the week
It was silly, flawed and beautiful…but any chance of there being a remaster of The Simpsons Hit ‘n Run, is the kind of talk that fills me with hope that we might finally get to see Homer Simpson spin a few doh’nuts arounf Springfield again. In other news, From Software fans may have something to look forward to, as rumours are currently circulating that the daddy of YOU DIED is possibly resurrected. Demon Souls as a PS5 exclusive?
TAKE MY MONEY!
Worst story of the week
There’s no two ways about it: Hong Kong is having a bad time as of late. Political instability is the order of the day, China wants their city back and the people there have had enough of President Pooh’s attempts to silence them. That alone is awful news, but seeing companies bow and grovel before the Chinese government, just so that they can chase the almighty dollar? Not cool dude, not cool.
The most blatant example of this was seen recently when one Hearthstone player decided to use the platform to spread awareness of the situation in Hong Kong, a move that got him banned from the game for a year and stripped of his winnings as Activision and Blizzard decided to do some damage control.
It’s a move that has ruffled many feathers, with Blizzard employees staging a walkout to protest about how their company values have been eroded by big corporate’s influence on their culture. Whatever your side in this drama, there’s no doubt that things have gotten ugly this week.
WTF story of the week
I hope you’ve cleared some hard drive space on your PC, and deleted that folder of questionable anime, because Call of Duty: Modern Warfare demands a silly amount of digital real estate for the privilege of hosting Mr Price’s moustache. A whopping 175 gigglebytes to be exact (though they have since said that’s just a recommended amount of space to have at the ready, for when the post-launch content drops), just so that every single hair follicle can be accurately rendered. Oh, and that bangin’ action game as well I guess.
Also someone made a Freddy Krueger cake. Kitchen Nightmares has officially gone too far.
Header image of the week
I made this in a mere minute because somebody had to earn some clicks on a story that would make people miserable, but even with DOOM Eternal being delayed to March 2020 it’s kind of neat to see Sad Dawson return. If you spotted him the first time, that is.
Comment of the week
Marek Norse gets straight to the point on the Blizzard brouhaha:
2018: Do you guys not have phones?
2019: Do you guys not have human rights?
Monster Cheddar cracks a funny about puppet deaths:
If Kermit the Frog killed himself, would he be Kermitting suicide?
Magoo takes a quick dig at Xbox:
Why did the Xbox cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.
Even though Robert Downey Jr doesn’t want an Oscar for the snap that saved the world, Kromas voices an opinion that most people share:
His performance as Iron Man is far more believable than most “Best Actor” Oscar winners. I think he sorta needs to get the lifetime achievement award.
And he strikes again with a quip about the great big Steam heist burglar being nabbed!
He should have stolen the items in three trips. Valve would never have been able to catch him.
Looks like we’re going to have to lawyer up, because Llama in the Rift is going to sue us for all we’re worth thanks to our awesomely addictive articles:
On my way to a lawyer….Suing Critical Hit for very very addictive Articles and Reviews….cause that just what people do these days.
And Other Darryn gets right to the heart of the issue surrounding Blizzard and their tangled relationship with China over Hong Kong:
Yeah, it kinda shows how any sentiment from a corporate doesn’t carry much weight. It’s all about the cash baby. Here we sit and dispassionately comment on these events, but this guy uses this platform to protest against a terrible regime with severe human rights violations and all the mighty Blizzard can do is ban him. What a great company.
Critical Hit Original Recipe Content
Frostpunk Xbox One Review – The Cold Standard of console strategy games
The art of Borderlands 3
Borderlands 3 – Weapon loot boxes, ranked
John Wick Hex Review – Keanu Reaps
The 8 best evil lairs in video games
Ready or Not review – A lean, deliciously mean horror comedy
Local weekend box office – You must be Joker-ing
Concrete Genie Review–Where the Wild Things Art
The best comic book covers of the week – 07 October 2019
The 14 biggest comic book announcements of New York Comic Con 2019
Ghost Recon: Breakpoint review – Breaking bad
NYCC: All the other trailers from the weekend
Code Vein Review – Bloodbored
Weekend box office – Joker posts huge $234 million worldwide debut
Gemini Man review – Will-powered spectacle
Bonus DVD Features
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: October 11, 2019