Top tip: If you want guaranteed flowers on Valentine’s Day, all you have to do is die.

Plumbers are red, hedgehogs are blue. Push start to join and be my player two.

Memory foam doesn’t remember us, it remembers itself without us.

When you clench your sphincter muscles to hold in a fart you're diverting all power to shields.

Scissors can cut water. Water just grows back really fast.

The fact there is a top hat implies there is a bottom hat as well.

What trash from yesteryear would you like to see thrown into an HD remake machine and hammer the 4K button on? Sound off below.

If you escape from the police, you’re basically playing an adult game of tag.